Handle a Bridezilla
Being a bridesmaid can be a wonderful bonding experience with a close friend, or it can be torture. Sweet, wonderful people can turn ugly in a moment when it comes to weddings. What can you do when your friend or sister goes from blushing bride to bared-teeth bridezilla?
The first thing you should do is try to cut her some slack. Remember that weddings can be a very stressful time for a bride. She has been trying to plan what is supposed to be the best day of her life while simultaneously controlling her own family and her fianc's. She may be feeling lonely, like the only person who cares if her special day is perfect. Put yourself in her shoes and try to imagine how difficult planning a wedding can be. If you've been married yourself, you will understand her feelings.
Give her some help. One thing you can do is offer to help her with her wedding preparations. Can you offer to check on the flowers or pick up the programs? Ask her what you can do to help make this time less stressful for her. Maybe it will mean running interference with her mother or her mother-in-law to be. Whatever it is, see if you can help.
Give her a listening ear. Let her talk, cry or shout while you lend a sympathetic ear. Let her know that you are there for her and that you understand she is under a great deal of pressure. Remind her that she can call you any time day or night if she wants to whine, complain or sob.
Sit her down for a talk. If her behavior is getting really out of control and she's starting to alienate you and the rest of her friends, it might be time for a sit-down. Let her know that while you appreciate that she is under stress, you cannot allow her to speak to you rudely or make inappropriate demands. Talk to her calmly and rationally, being sure to remind her that you are her friend and that you love and care about her.
Stand up for yourself. If your friend the bridezilla is not able to control herself and continues to treat you badly, it might be time to reevaluate her friendship. Getting married is not a license to be nasty to the people around you. If her behavior is insulting and obnoxious, tell her so. If she doesn't change, it is your prerogative to walk. Don't make a big deal out of it, and don't cause drama. Just calmly let her know that you are not going to be treated badly and that you no longer want to be part of her wedding party. Be prepared to lose any money you've spent on a dress or other wedding attire. Go ahead and give her the wedding gift you bought. You be the bigger person. Chances are that one day she will see the error of her ways and will apologize. When she does, accept it and move on.
Brides can become bridezillas at the turn of a wedding ring, so be prepared. Make sure your words and actions are rational and come from love, and remember that being a bridesmaid does not mean you have to be treated badly.
