ALT-7 Best Questions to ask the Bride before Marriage
Marriage is one of the most important commitments that you will make in your entire life...sounds scary, but it's true. When two people enter into the covenant of marriage, they must first understand what life will be like beyond the simple passion, love and attraction that they feel when they become engaged. Once the Wedding Day has come and gone, many issues crop up that can put an extreme amount of undo stress on a marriage.
I believe that both the future bride and the future groom should come up with a list of questions that are personal to them and their expectations of what a marriage should be. Just because you are brought up to believe that a woman should do all of the cooking doesn't necessarily mean that your future wife believes the same, and so on and so forth. Here are a list of several issues that should be discussed prior to taking the plunge.
1. What do you feel your roles in this marriage should be?This has to do with everything from working/pursuing a career, to housework, to caring for children, to hobbies etc.
2. Do you want to have children?This is a very important question, as I know a couple who got married without discussing this issue and eventually got divorced because the woman didn't want to "bear children" and the man couldn't live without them. In addition to this, you need to figure out if you are on the same page about how many children you want to have in your family.
3. How much influence and time will be spent with your family (i.e. your parents)?Many families are very close and a new marriage will not change this fact. Sometimes women have very close relationships with their families that can pose problems in their marriages.
4. Have you ever cheated and what is your definition of cheating?This is important in establishing a pattern of your partner's behaviors. Also, some women consider going to a strip club with the boys cheating, some women could care less if you go to a club and dance with as many women as your feet will allow you to...you need to know the boundaries, as does she.
5. How do you handle money?This is less of a question and more of a series of questions that lead up to the answer to this question. My husband's best friend recently got married only to find out that his new wife was horrible with money and got them immediately into a ton of debt. They were divorced less than 8 months after their wedding day...this being one of the major causes.
6. What are your expectations of ME, being your husband, in the marriage?This goes along with question one, though it is a little different...you need to know what your new bride expects of you. Does she expect you to work and nothing else, does she expect you to stay home while she pursues her career, does she expect you to do the yard work, house work, etc.
7. How do you feel about friends (both male and female) after marriage?Some very successful marriages have partners who have lots of friends, some of the opposite sex...this has to do with jealously, and you need to know what your partner feels about this.
8. What are your sexual expectations?This is very important! Many a marriage has been ruined over sex, either too much of it or not enough of it...women and men think differently and you need to know if you can handle how your new bride thinks.
9. Do you like pets?This seems simple, but can be important. If you have a cat and your bride is allergic, or simply hates the little beasts, then you might have a problem.
10. Finally, are you in this for the long haul, i.e. how do you feel about Divorce?This is important, because some people simply don't believe in it...also a good time to ask about religion...and some people think that divorce is a simple and easy option to a bad relationship.
In the end...ask questions first. Don't get caught off guard once the Honeymoon is over!
