Advice to the Mother of the Bride
When the date has been set and the venue booked, the countdown begins. Even though you cannot guarantee that the weather will be fine, as mother of the bride you will want to help to make the day be as perfect as it can be. Even though you have your own ideas and thoughts of how you would like things to be, this day belongs to your daughter and her husband-to-be and not to you and you need to stay one step behind, supporting in whichever way you can. Your opinions will be sought but you will need to think carefully about your responses for the last thing you want to do is interfere.
One of the first considerations is the dress. Going shopping with your daughter for her wedding dress is a very special time. Your daughter may have a clear image about what she wants to wear. She may have been dreaming about this since she was a little girl and she does not want to disappoint anybody, most of all herself. Your role is to stand back while she tries on different possibilities, sighing and feeling proud that your little girl is going to be a princess for a day.
After the bride's dress has been chosen, then there will be bridesmaid's dresses followed by choosing and ordering the flowers. At this point you may start to think about what you are going to wear. This will probably be a difficult decision. What color will you choose? Will you wear full-length? Will you get a hat? Why not get two outfits so you have a choice on the day?
As the date approaches, you will need to make sure that all other arrangements such as catering, cake and cars are in place, as well as photographer, hymns, orders of service and rehearsal. The male members will need to have sorted out their suits, but this is more the bridegroom's domain and you may or may not need to get involved.
In the last few weeks, all final checks will be made and the night before you will probably find yourself up until late finalizing the seating plan. You will go to bed exhausted, but knowing that you have done all you can. Just before you go to sleep you may pray that the sun will shine, if only for the photographs.
Once the day arrives and you have finally decided which outfit you are going to wear, it is likely that there will be some unforeseen circumstances that arise such as an unexpected guest arriving or finding the missing cake knife. It is your role to deal with these as they occur.
As mother of the bride, you may find that your role extends to giving your daughter away. This is a tremendous honor. It means you are the one who gets to leave the house last with your daughter and ride to the church with her in the wedding car. You walk down the aisle with her on your arm, hand her over to her new husband and later on, at the reception, you finally get to give your carefully written speech. Only then you may get to relax and enjoy the rest of the day.
No matter how much weddings may differ they are usually emotional occasions, not least for the mother of the bride. You hope that your daughter has made a wise choice and that she and her new husband are destined for a long and happy life together as man and wife. Who knows, before long she may be breaking the news to you that your family is soon to increase still further.
