ALT-5 How to Propose Marriage
Have you ever been at a baseball game, or some other professional sports event, and seen a marriage proposal flash across the big screen?
Yeah, me neither. The truth is, big flashy things like what is mentioned above, or an airplane flying over and dragging the proposal are not such a good idea. What if the plane crashed? Can you say bad omen?
But seriously folks, the reason this kind of thing is rare is because it is unequivocally lame. I don't mean to offend those of you who experienced this, but it seems a bit exhibitionist. It also seems like a guy who does that is trying to get attention and approval, not show his beloved how much he loves and cherishes her.
So how do you propose marriage? Here is what I suggest:
First, don't do what I did. I dithered, dallied and was so nervous that it took me two and a half awkward hours to get out the proposal. I was poorly prepared (didn't have a ring) and it had just come to me that if I didn't ask her to marry me I might lose her. Good thing she said yes, and we are still married almost ten years later. But you can stack the deck in your favor more if you give these other ideas a try.
- 1 Keep it privateYour proposal should not be broadcast over airwaves or anything else. Don't use a big screen and don't rope the fire department into it. That makes a game of something that is earth-shatteringly, wonderfully beautiful. Or it should be at least. So do it at home or in a quiet restaurant. Oh, and don't do it at the movie theater, because what if your beloved is really into the movie? Yikes.
- 2 Be preparedEven if you aren't a Boy Scout, there is still no excuse for lack of preparation. Have a ring, have it in a nice box, and have it handy. That way, when you move on to #3, you can produce the ring smoothly. Oh, and make sure the ring is shiny and the right fit. It is easy to take it as a bad omen if the ring does not fit during, or after, the proposal.
- 3 Yes, get on the kneeWhy do you have to kneel? Because it is the iconic image. Get on that knee. Give your soon to be betrothed the moment and image she deserves. Have the ring box in your hand before you drop to the floor, so that in a smooth movement, without making her wait, you show her the symbol of your love for her.
- 4 Say the wordsStick to the pattern, unless you are absolutely certain something else will do better. Seriously. We have all heard "Will you marry me" so many times in movies and such that it is almost impossible to mess it up. Or would you rather say, "Will you bre by mide?" I doubt it. So say her name, then say the special four words.
- 5 Careful of the build-upThis could be number 1, but since it is so important, I put it here. You really don't need to build up much for the moment by talking about how much you love her and why you think she is tops. Let the moment build with smiles, hand holding, perhaps an across-the-table kiss. Then, when your hand is free, and not when she has a mouthful of food, drop to the knee and go for it.
That's right, five simple steps to follow and keep in mind for that perfect, iconic proposal. Of course, if you know a guy who knows a guy, it can be fun to propose over the TV. If you really need that kind of public approval.
