ALT-5 Best Questions to ask the Bride before Marriage
So the proposal is done. You have, on bended knee asked the woman of your dreams for her hand in marriage and she has said yes. Now you must begin to plan your lives together. Do you really know this person that you are planning to spend your future with? Does she know you? Have you sorted out the finer details of your your day to day working relationship, such as who is responsible for taking out the garbage and doing the laundry? Oddly enough it is the small things in life that cause the most angst for many newly married couples.
Marriage is never just the blending of two people it is the blending of families and social circles. All to frequently today the pre-wedding party will be the first time family members meet face to face for the first time. So there might be many questions that should be asked that haven't been yet.
There are many questions that I believe might want answers.
Prospective mother-in-law:
Who are your people? Where do they come from? Ok, this is a very Southern thing in most cases. But if we haven't met you yet, especially if you aren't from our part of the country we will be curious about you and your background, your upbringing.
When do you plan on starting a family? How many children do you want? Yes intrusive but for those of us with sons, you know we all want to ask this question. We want to know!
Regarding the wedding itself: How large of a wedding do you plan on having? How many people can I invite? Will it be formal or informal? May I help with the planning? Will you include me?
Most important of all; Where will the wedding be?
Best Friend(s):
When, Where, and how ugly will the dress you will make me wear be? Do I have a choice in this?
Are you sure you want to do this?
How will this affect our friendship?
Parents of the Bride:
Who is this boy you want to marry (if they live in a different part of the country they may not have met face to face yet)? Does he have a criminal record? Does he have a job?
What does he do for a living? Can he support you?
Are you pregnant now? Do you plan on having children? When?
Who are his people (see above regarding Southerners)?
Where and when do you want to marry? How much will this cost me? What type of wedding do you want to have?
Groom:
Hopefully you have already asked most of these questions or at least know the answers to them through your open communications with your future spouse.
When do you want to start a family?
Are there any skeletons in your closet that I need to know about? Any surprises that I should be aware of before I meet your family?
What are your views on money? How do you view money issues within the context of marriage? Who should handle family budgets? Do you believe that married couples should retain separate accounts or blend all accounts? Are you a spender, a saver, or somewhere in between? I hope that you already know the answers to these, but to many couples don't have this discussion and it is a vital one.
What are your views on separate social lives? Is it appropriate for spouses to retain some friendships outside of their marriage (platonic) and some interests outside of their marriage? Or alternatively do you believe that married couples should cling only to each other?
The time before the wedding is frantic. Brides often lose perspective. Biggest question that can be asked by anyone close is ......
How can I help?
