ALT-1 The Duties of the best Man
The best man is the groom's go-to guy. He may be a brother, cousin, or best friend of the groom. Ideally, this is a dependable, responsible man, who can help the groom with organizational concerns and even pre-wedding jitters.
BEFORE THE WEDDING
The best man may help the groom select tuxedos or other attire for the male members of the wedding party. He will coordinate appointments for tailoring, if needed.
He will attend all pre-wedding festivities with the groom and groomsmen.
The best man will pick up the groom's formalwear before the wedding.
He will coordinate travel and shuttle arrangements for the wedding party's arrival, if needed.
He may plan or attend a pre-wedding shower for the groom. (Men's showers and couples' showers are growing in popularity these days.)
He may coordinate and host the groom's pre-wedding bachelor, or stag, party. (NOTE: This does not include sending an unconscious groom overseas on the night before his wedding!)
The best man will participate in the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Because this event is traditionally hosted by the groom and his family, the best man will make himself available for last-minute troubleshooting and do all he can to help this event to run smoothly. He will also offer the first toast at the rehearsal dinner, unless the groom's father chooses to do so.
ON THE WEDDING DAY
The best man will assist the groom, as he dresses for his nuptials. A wise best man will carry an emergency kit with acetaminophen or ibuprofen, a comb, kleenex, hair gel, a cell phone and charger, mouthwash, deodorant, and extra toothbrush and toothpaste, water bottles, and more.
He will be responsible for transporting the groom and groomsmen to the location of the wedding ceremony.
The best man will oversee all groomsmen and ushers for the wedding itself. (He will keep a copy of the ceremony seating plan, in case ushers or others need it.) He will ensure all groomsmen receive their boutonnieres and that the flowers are securely and properly pinned to their lapels.
The best man may be asked to oversee the arrival of floral arrangements in the church.
He will ensure any printed bulletins are prepared and given to ushers for distribution to guests before the ceremony. (He will also tuck away several copies for the newlyweds to keep.)
DURING THE WEDDING CEREMONY
The best man may accompany the maid of honor, as they walk down the aisle just before the bride.
In the absence of a ringbearer, the best man will hold the bride's ring until the ceremony calls for it.
He will witness the signing of the marriage license and offer his own signature as well.
He will offer his arm to the maid of honor to exit down the aisle, following the bride and groom.
The best man will give the payment envelopes to the officiant, instrumentalists, and soloists.
AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION
The best man will help to organize the wedding party for formal photographs. He will pose for formal and candid pictures throughout the festivities.
If asked, the best man will stand by the bride and groom in a formal reception line. He will sit with the wedding party at a head table, if there is one.
The best man may be asked to hold gift cards and envelopes for safekeeping for the groom.
He will do all he can to facilitate the reception facilities, including socializing with the guests. He may be called upon for last-minute needs at the reception, such as fetching an extension cord for the DJ, arranging for drinking water for a singer, helping an elderly guest to his or her seat, and more.
After the first dance, when the groom has cut-in on the bride and her father, the best man may dance with the maid of honor to welcome the guests to the dance floor.
The best man will offer the first toast to the bride and groom at the reception. (Occasionally, the bride's father will do this first.)
He will oversee the decorating of the newlyweds' honeymoon getaway car.
The best man will gather the single men among the guests for the traditional tossing of the bride's garter.
He will help the groom to load the couple's luggage into the getaway car and make sure the groom has the necessary tickets, travel instructions, and directions for the honeymoon.
AFTER THE WEDDING
The best man will coordinate the return of any rented formalwear from the wedding party.
If the groom has worn his own clothing, the best man will have it dry cleaned and returned to the newlyweds' home.
EXPENSES
The best man will pay for the rental or purchase of his own outfit for the wedding and all festivities.
He will coordinate and likely pay at least part of the cost of the bachelor party.
He will need to pay for his own travel and lodging costs, as applicable. Occasionally, members of the wedding party are invited to stay with friends or family members of the bride or groom.
He will bear the cost of a wedding gift and possibly shower gifts for the bride and groom.
Overall, the best man serves as the groom's right hand, right up until the wedding ring is placed upon his LEFT hand, and even for a while afterwards. The best man provides encouragement, support, and practical help, so that the bridegroom may be free to enjoy his own wedding.
The responsibilities are many, and they are important. However, it is customary to return the favor!
