ALT-1 10 Rules for every Bride
The New Ten Rules Every Bride Should Know
There are so many advice columns and books about what to do when you are getting married. How the bride should behave, what the groom should do; it's quite unnerving when it comes right down to it. So here are ten simple rules that every bride should know to get through the big event without losing it all completely.
The first and most important rule is there is no such thing as the perfect wedding. It is a myth that only exists in fairy tales to make little girls dream of the perfect wedding. Things will go wrong. The groom might be late. You yourself might be late. The cake might have a crack in it. The decorations might fall down mid-ceremony. Uncle Bob might get trashed again and start hurling in the punch bowl at the reception like he does every wedding. Guess what, the unexpected does happen and only ruins a wedding if the bride and groom let it. If every bride prepares themselves ahead of time with the idea that these things can and do occur, they will be less stressful when they do happen. As long as the groom in the end shows up and says 'I do' everything else will be ok.
Rule two: This is not just your day. It's the groom's day as well. Not as much as it is your day, that's fair enough. However, he will be more willing to wear the suit or tux if he gets some say in the wedding colors. He might be more willing to dance the first dance if it is a song he enjoys hearing. He'll definitely eat all the food if he gets to help pick it. Remember, this is a ceremony celebrating each of your desires to be with the other in theory for the rest of your life. Working together to plan the wedding is only the beginning of your partnership. Practice makes perfect.
The third rule is have a clear idea of what you want for the wedding; the dress, the location, the food, the cake, everything. Then find a cheaper way of doing it. The average American wedding costs at least $10,000. It is outrageous! Every woman I know can bargain hunt so why not do the same for your wedding. Put the money you save towards buying your first home or an exotic honeymoon. Get what you want for your wedding, but spend the money wisely. For example, my dress was the second cheapest thing. The most expensive part was renting the space and paying for the food (which was delicious). It's all about balancing. The atmosphere for my guests and having good food was more important to me than a dress I would wear once.
Rule four: Get everything ready for the big day the night before. You do not want to spend the next day running every which way gathering the dress and the flowers. The time before the ceremony should be spent getting your hair done, make-up done, and spending time with your bridesmaids. Rushing around will just make the stress levels worse. Find someone else to do the driving if there are relatives to pick up. The last thing you need is to worry about people cutting you off!
Rule five: Be honest. If you can't invite people because the wedding venue is too small then say so. If you hate the way the stylist did your hair, tell them that you need it fixed. Whatever the issue is, never lie to someone about it. Use tact and understanding but make sure that you are honest. Feelings are less bruised that way. You will be happier for it and everyone else at the wedding will be too.
Rule six: Let other people handle the business of the wedding. As a bride, you have an obligation to visit with everyone and make sure the guests are satisfied. Have someone else handle setting up the food, tipping whoever needs to be tipped, etc. That's why you have a Maid of Honor and a Best Man. Just make sure they know what they are doing.
This leads to rule seven: Make sure the wedding party knows what's going on. However you decide to run the day let them know what they are expected to do as soon as you can. If the best man is in charge of the rings make sure he knows and has them. Make sure whoever is in charge of tipping has the cash ahead of time to tip with. Don't leave the wedding party in the dark. They will appreciate being included in the plans and in turn they can do their jobs efficiently and enjoy the wedding and reception with you. Also, as an aside, if you are planning on doing pictures during hors d'oeuvres, have someone save you and the groom a plate, preferably someone not in the wedding party.
Rule 8: Try to spend time getting to know your in-laws. As mine had only met me three days previous to the wedding, this was essential. They were invited to the rehearsal, even though they were only attending the ceremony so they could see the place and spend time with me. They went to the rehearsal dinner as well. Time with the in-laws can help smooth out rough patches on both sides. Making an effort to include them not only shows them that you respect your future husband but that you respect them as well which is important in inter-familial relationships. Nothing hurts a marriage more than bad blood between parental units of your partner and you.
Rule 9: Breathe. Eat breakfast. Go through your normal routine up until the ceremony. While there is no such thing as a perfect wedding, you do have control over your body. Fainting at the altar shouldn't be in the plans. Drink lots of water and make sure your bridesmaids do as well.
The last rule is to have fun with your new husband. You just tied the knot! You should be gloriously in love and all that stuff. Dance all evening together and if he hates dancing then sit and talk in between visiting with your guests. A wedding is a celebration of a love between two people, so celebrate it together!
