Worst Reasons to get Married
Marriage is a sacred and whole thing. Committed between two people who truly match one another, it can being among the greatest blessings for a relationship - but at the same time, done for the wrong reasons it can also be a horrible, horrible idea.
Here are some of the worst reasons for a person to get married, in no particular order.
- Because everybody else is getting married. Now that I'm midway into my twenties it seems like everybody I know is getting hitched, and I know at least a few of them did it just so they wouldn't feel left out. Yet I've seen couples dissolve just as quickly as they got married because they didn't realize what living together would be like. Peer pressure is never good under any circumstances, and the world of matrimony is no exception.
- Because your parents expect you to. I really hate it when parents try to hoist off their own expectations on you. Get married when you feel you're ready, not when somebody else tells you to. More often than not, too, parents have other goals in mind - like getting grand kids - which shouldn't trump your own preparedness for this greatest of bonds.
- Because you're afraid of being alone. Getting married to a person shouldn't stem from your own fear of spending your life alone. If that's the case you could be wed to virtually anybody - or anything, for that matter - and still be equally as happy. Marriage should be entered into because you love one another and want to spend your lives together, not because you fear ending up an old, lonely spinster.
- Because you've been together for so long that it's the inevitable next step. If two people have been dating for several years and aren't married, they either don't really want to get married or aren't that good together in the first place. Fulfilling everybody's expectations that two long-dating people should wed isn't good if a marriage won't help the relationship at all.
- Because one partner or the other is pregnant. If you feel rushed to get married because one of you got knocked up then you're probably not in love - you're just doing it for the sake of the incoming baby. A bad mistake that may lead to a messy divorce later in life, and that will REALLY screw the kid up.
- Because you want to experience the process of the wedding. I'm sure most girls dream of their ideal dress and their ideal wedding day, with the ideal cake and the ideal gifts and so on. And that's all well and good - but what about when that's all finished, and you're stuck with somebody you don't necessarily like?
- Because you want someone to support you financially. So many marriages have been arranged out of sheer monetary concerns, and one heart inevitably breaks when it realizes the other only cares about the money. A marriage should be mutually beneficial in concerns of the wallet and the soul.
The bottom line is, get married if you love one another and can see each other together ten, fifteen or twenty years down the road. Otherwise you're wasting time and money, and exposing yourself to undue amounts of heartbreak.
