Worst Presents
Valentine's Day gifts should not be nearly as complicated as some people make them. True, there's a lot of pressure behind getting these gifts right, and it's quite easy to screw up - but at the same time it shouldn't be that difficult to pick something relatively unique that will please your partner.
And, with that said, there are some things which simply should NOT be bought, no matter what the circumstances. They will, in short, make you look like a witless clod. Here's a little list of the worst offenders; only give them a try if you'd rather not be bothered with Valentine's Day the next year.
- A gift certificate. This depends on the nature of the certificate. If it leads the recipient to a spa, then you're probably safe. One for a grocery store, though? Or a book store? Most people will wonder why you decided to be so uncreative and cheap.
- A plant. Not flowers, just a cactus or something else lame. You're pressuring the person into caring for something that they may care nothing about, which is just plain jerkish.
- A card. Just... a card. Home made this is cool, but from a store? Just a card? You probably picked it up on the way home from work that very day, didn't you? Lazy, lazy, lazy - and yet some people do just this, and are appropriately snubbed by their significant others. Fools!
- A pet. Unless the person has expressed a desire for that pet in the past, they don't want it. This is even worse than handing someone a plant, for at least a plant requires fairly passive attention.
- An IOU. You're just begging for trouble.
- Anything themed for Valentine's Day, really. Great. So it looks good on that one day. What do you do with those stupid plush bears and heart-shaped containers the rest of the year? Probably stow them in a box and ignore them.
- A donation to a charity on the person's behalf. What a lovely gesture. Now be sure to follow it up with an ACTUAL gift, please...
- A night out - that the person has to pay for. What, you didn't bother to check that you had enough money to cover the expenses beforehand? Or did you just anticipate you wouldn't have enough and hoped to get a free meal out of the deal? Either way, you're a horrible person.
- And, last, paradoxically, something really expensive. Something so fantastically awesome that you'll make the other person's offering look absolutely pathetic by comparison. This will awe and delight your partner for a few seconds - and then they'll be hit by comprehension, discovering that their present is, well, sad. Don't go too overboard.
But, again, don't be cheap. Make sure your gift is from the heart. Show your partner you really care by getting them something which shows you understand their personality. Do that and, no matter the gift, you'll be in their good books.
