Unity Ceremony the Unity Candle
The Unity Candle is becoming a very popular tradition for modern couples. The use of a Unity Candle symbolizes the joining of two separate lives into one. The flame has always been regarded as a symbol of life and, in this case, the spirit of two people.
What you will need for the Unity Candle Ceremony are:
2 tall tapered candles and a candle holder for each.
1 large pillar candle and a holder or stand.
Either matches and a striker or some kind of lighter.
A stand or table for these items.
You may also want to include two flowers, one for each Mother. The use of these are all described below.
The 1st Lighting:
After the opening of the ceremony and the exchange of vows, the Mother of the Bride and the Mother of the Groom are asked by the Pastor to approach. The Mothers then light the two tapered candles; one symbolizing the Bride and one symbolizing the Groom. The couple may wish to give each Mother a flower at this point. It serves as a token of their love and thanks them for all they have done in their lives. Then the Mothers are seated.
If the couple, for whatever reason, has decided not to include their Mothers in this part of the ceremony then they may either light the candles themselves or have the Maid of Honor and Best Men do it.
At this point you may ask the Pastor to say a few words about the significance of each candle.
The 2nd Lighting:
After the Pastor has finished, the Bride and Groom each take a tapered candle and light the center pillar candle. A beautiful line from the Bible that illustrates this union is, "On this account, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined with his wife and the two shall become one." You may want your Pastor to say something similar or include a special poem, scripture reading, or other tribute and this time.
After the Unity Candle Ceremony, the Bride and Groom are pronounced Husband and Wife.
Alternatives to the basic ceremony:
Some couples have selected to use the Unity candle in a different manner:
1) At the beginning of the wedding, the Best Man and Maid of Honor light the tapered candles. When the Bride and Groom approach the area where they will exchange vows they immediately light the center candle. In this use of the candles, the symbolism may change slightly. The Bride and Groom are displaying their intentions for the wedding ceremony. They are telling the guests that they have come to this spot in whole-hearted devotion to their union. You may ask the Pastor to say something similar or have the ceremony done in silence.
2) Occasionally Flower Girls or young male attendants are asked to perform the Unity Candle at the beginning of the ceremony or before the entrance of the wedding party. They enter carrying lit candles and, when they reach the front, they light the center candle. This helps the Guests to realize the ceremony is beginning and creates a solemn and peaceful mood.
3) Some couples choose to blow out the tapered candles after the Unity Candle has been lit. Others disagree with this action because of the symbolism. By keeping the candles lit you are symbolizing the support and unity of your two families. You may even want the Pastor to announce this. By blowing out the candles, you are removing the family symbolism from the ceremony. Some people believe this is improper and depicts the closing of the couples old lives without respect for their families.
No matter how you choose to use the Unity Candle, you can avoid confusion, feelings of disrespect, and other ideas by having the Officiate describe the meaning of the ceremony. This is a great opportunity to personalize your wedding and make the ceremony represent important values to you and your fiance.
