How to Resolve Conflict with a co Worker
From 3arf
Office relationships can be difficult and if there is conflict it can make your working life extremely stressful. It is certainly not an ideal situation and it is important that when conflicts arise, they are dealt with properly before they escalate. Below are some tips on how to resolve conflict with a co-worker.
- Step back.When you first become aware of a conflict between yourself and a co-worker, take a moment to step back and ask yourself if it is serious enough to be considered a conflict. Sometimes misunderstandings can be just that and after a day they can dissolve and be forgotten. If, however, you believe it is more than this and needs resolution, it's important that you acknowledge the problem and take the next step.
- Calm down.Before attempting to resolve anything it is vital that you are calm. It is no good approaching a situation when you are feeling worked up and on edge. Conflicts are best dealt with when you are calm and have thought about what you want to say and what you would like to achieve. You are more likely to be respected, have your view heard and to have your co-worker cooperate than you would if you head into the situation angry and accusational.
- Plan.Plan what you would like to say. Take the time to think about the things that have happened; perhaps write a diary so that you can refer to it and think through what you are hoping to achieve. If you are prepared like this then you will be able to resolve conflict more efficiently.
- Arrange a meeting.It will depend upon the kind of conflict you are having and the kind of work set-up you have, but plan your meeting carefully and in a professional manner, nothing like "You, outside, now!" Instead arrange it so that your co-worker doesn't feel intimidated or angry; perhaps you could have a third party with you too. Sometimes a line manager should be involved in this kind of meeting but it will depend upon your individual circumstances and how serious the conflict is.
- Respect.Talk to your co-worker about your concerns and allow them to have their say too. Respect what they have to say and try to understand their point of view. Listen carefully and then work together to try to resolve the problem. Always respect the person's approach, even if they have a completely different opinion to you it doesn't matter; two people can still be right despite having different opinions. If you show respect to your co-worker they are likely to respect you too and so a compromise and resolution is more likely to be achieved.
- Give it time.Wait and see after the meeting how you and your co-worker are and see if it has worked. It may take time for you to both adjust to your new ways of communicating and working with each other but if you feel as though no change has happened or if the relationship has become more hostile then it is important to recognise this and speak to others.
- See your manager.If the relationship is still in trouble and there is conflict, it will make your work suffer and can affect your mood and home-life too so it is vital that you seek advice from someone higher up. Speak with your manager and ask them to help. It is important that you do not leave it and ignore it thinking that you have tried everything.
Conflict at work is difficult to endure and you should not have to put up with it. There are ways in which you can approach the situation and try to resolve it and hopefully this will result in a happier working environment for all involved.
