Bridesmaids how to Deal with a Difficult Bride
If a friend has invited you to be in her wedding and you have graciously agreed it is a time to celebrate, or is it? Today the focus seems to be off the celebration of two people in love deciding to spend the rest of their life together and more on how much money can I get everyone to spend on my special day. If the bride has chosen your dress and it is hundreds of dollars and insists that you have matching shoes also hundreds of dollars and purchase a specific gift also hundreds of dollars and so on and so on it is completely appropriate I feel to let her know that at the beginning you were thrilled to share her day with her but you didn't realize it was going to be this expensive and in fact you are not able to be in her wedding after all.
I had a friend who was asked to be in the wedding of Bridezilla. She was told what dress to purchase which isn't unusual. The dress was not something she would ever wear again and it was almost five hundred dollars. The shoes to match were another two hundred. She was then instructed that the girls in the wedding were buying a specific gift for the bride and this too was going to be another few hundred dollars. There was not one wedding shower but four and she was expected to attend and purchase a gift for each shower. She called me in tears saying she just couldn't afford this wedding, she was a new teacher and she didn't have the money and her friend had mentioned she should "Just charge" everything.
My advice to her was this- Tell your friend that you cannot afford to be in the wedding. You didn't realize that it was going to be this expensive and that although you love her and wish you could be in her wedding that you simply cannot. She did just that and the bride was very upset and didn't invite her to the wedding at all. She realized that this really wasn't such a good friend after all and she was greatly relieved to be free of the entire experience.
Weddings are beautiful and should not be putting burdens on friends who often are fresh out of college and not earning a great deal yet. They should be fun and exciting and if they turn into something more-get out quick.
