Annoying Coworkers
Everyone has had that annoying coworker from hell. The one that is so oblivious to how annoying they really are. The one you dread seeing every day and rejoice when they are on vacation. The one you try to avoid at all costs; fleeing in the opposite direction when you them coming. Well, maybe it is time to turn the tables and become that annoying coworker and give them a dose of their own medicine.
Begin annoying your coworkers by chewing lots and lots of bubble gum, making sure to pop and snap it. Blow bubbles smacking and cracking the bubble gum and stuff a fresh piece in your mouth every hour. Spit out the gum in the direction of the trash can, missing the can and letting the gum fall on the floor.
Wear taps on the bottom of your shoes and stomp your feet so everyone will hear you walking down the hall. Occasionally burst into song and do a tap dance worthy enough for a Broadway show. Hold conversations with yourself in the third person and talk to yourself all day long. While sitting in your cubicle, pull out the nail clippers and trim your fingernails. Sweep the clippings onto the floor. If time allows, kick off your shoes and trim your toenails too.
Become the office complainer. Ask why your brand of soda is not available in the soda machine. Request a microwave to be moved to your desk so you will not have to walk so far. Tell the appropriate person that you need a closer parking space in order to do your job properly.
Plaster every inch of your cubicle with pictures of your family. Brag about your kids to your coworkers. You just know your coworkers want to listen to you describe the play by play of each and every game of baseball that your child plays. Assume everyone wants to hear every excruciating detail about your children, including their bowel movements.
Make personal phone calls and talk very loudly so all your coworkers can listen in to the drama that is happening in your life. Place your phone to speaker so your fellow employees can follow the whole conversation. Set your own hours and come in late to work a couple of days a week, your coworkers will cover for you. Tell your boss you have decided to take a thirty minute lunch and skip your breaks so you can leave an hour early.
Bring in a smelly lunch like tuna or leftover Chinese food and let the smell waft over the cube farm. Nothing says you hate your coworkers like a smelly lunch that lingers in the cube farm all afternoon.
Follow these tips and your coworkers are sure to be annoyed with you. Maybe your annoying coworker will even reevaluate their behavior and realize how annoying they are!
