ALT-6 Re Gifters what to do when You’re Caught in the Act
As the gift is opened, your eyes dart around the room, trying to look for signs of suspicion, of surprise, of intrigue. You have regifted...and this is your moment of truth. If you can only get through this present opening ceremony, leap into the future somehow, you would be home free.
But then, suddenly, a gasp, a sound of shock. Someone remembers giving you that gift, that exact gift. You have been found out, caught in your crime of laziness. All eyes are now on you, as you stand there accused, alone, in front of friends and family. What do you do?
Your instinct may be to admit to the fact that you regifted, that you tried to get away with it and you were caught. You may want to admit your mistake, claiming you thought you would never be caught. But this would result in many more problems for you. You would be seen as a lesser person to your friends and family. You would insult the person who originally gave you the present. But worse of all, you would have to take that gift back AND buy the person a new gift.
Instead of going through all that, why not follow my easy suggestions for getting yourself out of your current jam? The following suggestions, in order of effectiveness.
1. Lie
You have already stumbled down a morally ambiguous road, taking credit for someone else's work. You have passed off a gift as your own. Since you have already lied, why not continue to do so? Claim that you bought it yourself. Claim that you really liked yours and wanted the person to have it. Claim you have no idea what they person accusing you of regifting is talking about. Lies got you into this mess...lies could possibly get you out of it.
2. Blame someone else
This works when you have a spouse or significant other also at the party with you. It is simple. Blame them. Claim that you have no idea about the regift, that you don't do the shopping in the house. If the gift was regifted, then it must have been your significant other who did it. This will avert the blame temporarily (though will result in bigger problems once you get home....therefore it is best to use this tactic when a) you expect to break up with the person soon; b) your significant other is not at the party and won't hear about it; or c) your significant other does not mind being blamed.
3. Claim some sort of amnesia
Let everyone know that you have a rare form of forgetfulness. You can remember everyone's face and name, but not what gifts they gave you. You can't remember what things you bought and which ones were gifts. You are easily confused. People will find pity for you...and will allow you to regift in the future.
4. Throw a smoke bomb and escape through the ceiling window
Only works if you are Batman.
5. Suggest multiple shots of varying brands of liquor
Alcohol affects such things as memory and intuitiveness. People won't remember that you regifted...heck, they may not remember the party at all. My personal suggestions are Rum, Vodka, or Johnnie Walker Black.
6. Karaoke
Nothing can change the mood like someone breaking out the Karaoke machine. Works best when used in conjunction with suggestion 5.
7. Dance, dance, dance
People love to dance. Just start dancing when the accusations start flying.
8. Feign deafness
Act like you can't hear the accusations. If you can't hear themthen they never were said.
9. Fake a stroke
Only works if there are no doctors in the house.
10. Come back with an even worse lie the accuser partook in
If your friend accuses you of regifting, let everyone know about the time he hooked up with a fat girl. Or how she cheated on her boyfriend. Like Emeril says, step it up a notch. Bam!
So there you go, 10 foolproof methods of what to do when you were caught regifting. Proper use of each depends on the situation you are in, the environment, the type of party, etc. So please study the environment and know beforehand which method you are going to use. Unless your name is Bruce Wayne. Then always use option 4.
