ALT-2 Long Distance Maid of Honor
It would be nice if every bride had her maid of honor at her beckoned call when any potential mishaps occur. Of course, this is not a perfect world, and many times your ideal maid of honor does not live close enough to you to assist with every detail of the planning phase. As a bride-to-be whose maid of honor lives across the country, I am filled with helpful tips and advice to manage this tricky situation.
The first thing you will need to do is to write down a realistic list of expectations for her to fulfill. You are only kidding yourself if you think she will be able to fly out to help you every time you need something. Instead, determine the traditional duties and divide the most difficult ones amongst your local family, friends, and members of the bridal party. Determine when and for how long she will be able to visit before the wedding. During this time, she will be able to perform pre-wedding duties with your assistance.
The best way to keep in constant contact is to harness technology. Perhaps you have trouble making decisions without her input. Utilize a camera, email, and the telephone. The input she gives will be better, as she will be able to scroll through your selections and compare them in a matter of minutes.
Do not be afraid to ask her to perform duties like checking in on reservations, confirming dates, and sending you invitations. You only need to provide her with the phone numbers of your parents, your potential in-laws, and all necessary vendors, and she will be able to do this from home. If long-distance calling is expensive for her, it would be a nice gesture to send her a calling card, though this is not necessary.
Traditionally, the maid of honor organizes all showers and bridal parties. Obviously it is unrealistic to expect her to attend and organize all of them. Instead, try to enlist your bridesmaids, friends, and willing family to do this. To ensure that everything is to your taste while you are busy organizing other aspects, give them her contact information. She can advise and guide them through the process to ensure that you are happy with the outcome.
In order for her to be able to complete her wedding day tasks, try to arrange for her to fly in a few days prior to the event. Give her a check list of responsibilities, and, if necessary, provide her with transportation.
Throughout the process, try to keep in contact as much as you can. You do not want her to feel left out of such an important event in your life. The more you communicate your expectations, the easier it will be for the both of you. Keep in mind that she is doing the best she can. Be as supportive as possible and remember that your wedding should be a fun process to share and enjoy all around.
