ALT-2 Bridesmaids how to Deal with a Difficult Bride
Bridezilla! It's a new word for an old problem-when women are getting married, they have a tendency to lose their cool about the smallest things, and the fallout usually is worst among their closest friends.
If you're going to be a bridesmaid for a difficult bride, you have to be able to seethe without showing it, and allow your friend to complain, whine, and attack without provoking her further. This can be difficult, especially since you've already agreed to wear a peach monstrosity and walk arm in arm with a man who smells like dung.
There are some ways to deal with a difficult bride that won't damage your soul. Letting her complain and not responding with solutions is an easy way to let her blow off steam. If you have a solution to the current dilemma she's facing, and you can accomplish it for her, then wait until she's done complaining before offering it. If it's something you know will help, but not something you yourself can accomplish, find someone who can before offering the solution. Giving advice without being able to take action can just give her more to be overwhelmed with.
Letting her get her frustration off her chest is important, since brides are usually very anxious and stressful even when everything is going well.
Don't sign up for a job you can't handle-including being a bridesmaid in the first place! If you're certain you can't ever appear in a fuchsia ballroom gown, then don't agree to be a bridesmaid. Assume that you'll be wearing the most hideous dress imaginable, and being paired with your worst nightmare of a man for the wedding ceremony, and then decide whether to accept. Complaining about these things is out of the question once you've agreed to be her bridesmaid, so think about what you're getting yourself into before you agree.
If you've agreed, you're stuck with her decisions. If she needs help with something and you won't or can't do it, tell her so. Don't make any promises you can't fulfill. Planning a wedding can be confusing and hectic, so make sure that you are upfront about what services you can and can't offer her.
Of course, you'll have to be polite to the groom's family and friends. Don't flirt with the groom, and don't cause dramatic confrontations with anyone on the groom's side. There may be previous issues that you aren't aware of, bubbling beneath the surface. Try to be pleasant and polite.
If the bride has a tantrum, don't intervene to quiet her unless she's about to cause herself or someone else actual harm. Women AND men are nervous about commitment and the serious nature of marriage, and while grooms often have sympathetic friends to talk to about this, brides often have no outlet for these feelings. Letting your friend get emotional or angry and allowing her the chance to release her feelings can help calm her.
Offering your ear and listening to her concerns and fears can also help.
If someone besides the bride is difficult, take the bride's part and try to end the conflict quickly. The bride is trying to plan a day that will affect the rest of her life (if folklore is to be believed) and everyone else is there to watch. Anyone else's problems with the day are secondary to her concerns.
If things get really out of hand, try some deep breathing. Get outside or away from her for a while before you respond, and take a walk. A bit of brisk walking does wonders to calm the body's adrenalin response, and can calm you down. Remember that there is a date when all this aggravation will be over, and all you'll have to worry about is the pictures the photographer took while you were drunk.
