ALT-25 Best Questions to ask the Groom before Marriage
I have now been married for seven years. We have had our ups and our downs. We've built a home, started careers, changed careers, started a family, and suffered through deaths and illness. Reflecting on our marriage and our accomplishments and failures I can say without a doubt there is one question I wish I had asked my husband before marriage. This one question would have helped me to understand him and probably avoid many of the arguments and difficulties we faced these last seven years. I wish I had asked my husband what his view was on the wife's role in a marriage.On Oct 21, 2000 my life changed forever without my knowing it. On that day I became a wife. Little did I know that it meant different things to me than it did to my husband. You see, I came from a single parent home. I had no clue what marriage was. My husband, however, came from a completely different background. In my husbands eyes his parents marriage was ideal. I would say it was a storybook relationship. I didn't realize this image of his parents marriage would affect our marriage everyday from that point forward.I wish I would have asked my husband, "what did you see as your mom's role in your parents marriage, what was your father's role?" I knew that his mom stayed home and his dad worked but I had no clue how their marriage influenced my husband in his thoughts on our marriage. And the reason why this is so important is because at the age of 6 my husbands mother died. Therefore, my husband had this idealistic view of his mother and it this that is my husbands basis for what my role should be in our marriage. When you are 6 everything is perfect. Your parents are perfect and your life is perfect. Mom stays home and does the housework and daddy goes to work and comes home and plays with the kids. You don't see the disagreements over who does the dishes, or the arguments over finances and you never see who does what chores after the kids go to bed. My marriage is a constant challenge over who does what because in the back of my husbands mind the mommy makes the world go round at home and daddy goes to work and comes home and plays.
