ALT-1 Ten Modern Marriage Vows
The marriage vows are traditional, old and very beautiful. In these difficult modern times of rush and tear perhaps it is time to supplement, not replace them, with a few others.
I will never belittle you in public, if I need to speak to you about anything I will do so in private. I will not nag you in public, or private, about anything, except your health, and I reserve the right to do that because I love you.
I will treat you respectfully, and with the consideration, and good manners, with which I would treat everyone.
I will remember the everyday little things and not make huge, but rare, grand romantic gestures because I feel guilty for neglecting you. I will remember every day that you are my chosen life partner and that I love you.
I will never take our child's side against you in front of that child, even if I disagree with you. We will discuss the matter out of earshot of the child and come to a joint decision, regarding the matter.
I will not expect you to be all things to me; you are my partner, not my child or my parent.
I will maintain my own hobbies and friends, and I expect you to maintain yours. I will not expect you to spend every single moment with me, but I expect you to make room for me in your life as I expect to make room for you in mine. Marriage does not mean that we are joined at the hip, nor does it mean that we are semi-detached.
I will remember that I promised to love and honour you, to care for you whether we are rich or poor, in sickness and in health and in good times and bad. I will be your rock as I hope you will be mine.
I know that marriage is not a competitive sport, or a point scoring game. I know that there will be times when I have to give so much that it hurts and then give a little more and, perhaps, at that moment, get little in return because you are in need at that particular time. I also know there will be times when you will have to do the same for me along life's rocky road.
I will never allow anyone, be they a family member, or friend, to come between us or criticize you in my hearing. They can think what they like, but in criticizing you, in my hearing, they are gainsaying my choice and, in a way, criticizing me. Other people should respect my choice of partner and do their best to get on with you or at least be polite.
I agree to walk beside you on life's journey, not behind you or in front of you, but beside you, because we are companions and equals. I know that true equality means on a par with you, and not the same as you. Each of us has an equal say in family decisions and on family life.
Marriage is hard in our modern society, and many people get married without thinking it through properly. Perhaps the addition of these modern promises, to the traditional vows, might make people think more carefully before entering marriage and so save many couples and families the pain, tragedy and mess of divorce.
