ALT-1 How to Cope with being Left at the Altar
You met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and you plan your wedding day. Your guests are seated, the flowers line the aisle, and your attendants are ready to precede you. Everyone waits for the music to guide you to your betrothed, only it does not come. Where is the groom? Has anyone seen him?
There is nothing more humbling or humiliating than being left at the altar. A huge public display of your personal embarrassment. You turn to your father and pour your heart out in tears. An announcement is made for all the guests to retire to the reception hall where your parents kindly ask the guests to pick up the gifts they brought with them. The food has already been prepared and the hall paid for, so your guests are encouraged to enjoy the meal.
Your heart feels like someone tore it out you deserve some answers from the one who you love, whom you thought loved you. Getting past this first day will be one of the more difficult things you will ever do.
How to cope
First, allow yourself to cry. This is a wonderful mechanism for purging your emotions the anger, rage, frustration, humiliation and disbelief that have built up inside. You can allow a few occasions of this indulgence but don't allow it to become part of your existence.
Surround yourself with friends and family who love and support you. At this time you are feeling vulnerable and looking for love since it has been torn away from you. Don't hook up with the next guy that comes along and engage in a physical relationship. You will only get hurt again.
Allow yourself to discuss what happened and learn to accept that it did happen. Eventually you will have to learn to forgive this man although it is difficult to even consider at first.
Maintain your health. There is no need for you to deprive yourself of food or turn to food in excess at this sad time. Eat and drink normal portions and try to make sure you eat with others. Alcohol and drugs are not an option either as the sadness will return once you sober up. You want to face your emotions, understand them and then move past them.
Find activities that make you happy and pursue them. If you like to swim, find a local gym or YMCA with a pool and start swimming! Always wanted to learn to sew? Take a sewing class. Take control of your life and don't allow yourself to wallow in self pity. Only time will allow the wounded heart to heal. You have to fill the empty spaces with activities you truly enjoy so as to let go of the pain.
Have confidence in yourself and focus on you, your career and your future. After all, it may turn out to be a good thing you did not marry this man. Someone better might just be around the corner.
