Who do we Hurt with Gossip
Sure, gossiping is fun, interesting, and a seemingly great social activity, but let's stop to take a look at who it might not be helping. The most obvious is the person you are gossiping about. Then there are the people you may be gossiping in front of. The third (and most overlooked), is yourself. The easiest way to avoid being a gossip is to think about all these things the next time you find yourself passing along a rumour that you heard through the grapevine.
It is easy to see how gossip affects its target; this person probably has no idea what is being said to ruin her reputation or cause people to see her in a negative light. Thinking about this really puts things into perspective, because you can easily imagine if it was being said about you. In this case, you should pick a completely different topic on a more positive note, or find somethiing complimentary to say about that person instead.
Let's look at the people you may be gossiping in front of. When your coworkers or bosses hear you gossiping it reflects badly on you as an employee. You will not be taken seriously, and in some cases may even lose your job. That's something to think about. If your mother hears you gossiping, she will probably use the word disappointed, and that is a very powerful deterrent. The worst case scenario is that your children hear you gossiping. They will in turn repeat what you said verbatim, or start gossiping among their friends at school. Is that what you want to teach your child? Stop to think about how the people around you will perceive your gossip and you will easily find a new topic.
Now take this line of thinking further and you can see how gossiping hurts you. You will not be as respected by your peers, family, or coworkers. You will be seen as a negative person and probably not be taken very seriously. Your children will learn from you that it is okay to tell an interesting story, whether it is true or not. You will feel like a poor role model and probably very alone, all because it was fun to spread a juicy story. At the end of the day you will need to recover from all of this.
So if you find yourself gossiping frequently and would like to stop, think about all the ways it affects your life negatively. Make it a habit to mentally list these things every day, and you will become much more aware of what you are saying to people. It could be helpful to create a list of more acceptable topics of conversation to help you create the habit of positive speaking. You may even find you have more friends and a better quality of life.
