What to do if my Boss Hates me
Despite the sunny news coming out of Wall Street, this is still a dill-pickle of a recession! And you may find yourself in the unenviable position of having to work for someone who makes no secret of hating your guts. I know it is difficult to imagine anyone not enjoying your company in the workplace, but it happens (even to your humble author). But hold forth noble employee, there is hope and dare I say it…Successes to be had in these circumstances and I offer 3 survival tips to navigating these dangerous waters.
Survival Tip Number 1: “Fake it ‘til you make it”
I know it is soul stealing to have to plaster on a smile and pleasant demeanor when communicating with people who don't like you and you, obligingly, despise in return, but this is the first and most important step to working in this sort of environment. You must smile, be pleasant and always scrupulously professional in the face of the workplace tyrants. Firstly, relentless cheer confuses and disarms them and secondly, your pleasantness lets others in the work environment see how vicious, unfair and brutal The Boss is towards you, aligning them on Your Side.
(Scoreboard: You, 1 The Boss, 0)
So yes, even though The Boss goes out of their way to assign the most unpleasant tasks to you, you accept that stack of files with a smile like it was a present from Santa. There is nothing like maniacal, unwavering, cheerful, agreeable attitude to deflate a workplace bully. So “fake it ‘til you make it”, “kill them with kindness”, “turn the other cheek”, whatever you have to do to get through the day, week or year until you make it out of this situation and into a better employment position. “Fake it ‘til you make it”, this self-help mantra is not just for the 12-Steppers anymore.
Survival Tip Number 2: Vigilance is Key!
You must never relax your guard, always be prepared for unwarranted criticism, blame placing, workplace gossip and sabotage from The Boss and their allies in the office. So don't just smile your way through the day and expect that to be the end of the hard work you need to put in while surviving a workplace where the supervisor dislikes you. You must secure your work station from probing, keep your email, phone and written correspondence neutral and professional at all times (always commiserate face-to-face with your fellow oppressed, in coded whispers, huddled over egg-salad sandwich lunches off-site or in the farthest corner of a large, loud lunchroom. Don't forget to watch each others backs!). Remember, The Boss is out to get you so always greet a seemingly kind act on their part with suspicion and a smile. Remain vigilant in your workplace and assume that most if not everyone else is an agent of The Boss, hoping to step on your back as they climb to the top.
The other part of being ever vigilant is to always be on the lookout for your next job. Keep your eyes and ears open, dust off that resume, take those last two classes to get your degree and do whatever else is necessary to make you an attractive employee prospect Somewhere Else. It is also easier to find another job while you are already employed; somehow the stench of desperation isn't as strong to future employers if you're already working. Once you've committed to the decision of moving on from your current situation, Always Be Looking for your next job and hopefully, a better Boss.
Survival Tip Number 3: Donuts
If you spend just $10 every other month or so on donuts (bagels, cookies, chips or whatever…this is your job, not mine) for your co-workers to enjoy, you will win their hearts and minds. A seemingly random occurrence of snacking manna for any office group is received and appreciated like a gift from the gods. Therefore, they will begin to confuse the bringer of such sweet fruits (You) with a messenger from God and, ergo…The Boss is the Devil. (Scorecard: You, 2 The Boss, Eternal Damnation).
Not everyone is going to be fortunate enough to work with a supervisor who respects and admires them and their contribution to the team. Some folks are just plain unhappy, unpleasant bullies who go out of their way to make their employees miserable. If you are one of those subjugated workers then I urge you follow these survival tips and keep the faith my fellow wage slave …you too can overcome, this adversity.
Godspeed.
