What to do about Emotional Bullying
Bullying of any kind in the workplace is unwarranted and should be quashed as soon as possible. However, emotional bullying is often harder to detect than physical or even verbal bullying, simply because it often depends on the personality of the victim and just how much it is obvious to onlookers that bullying is taking place. Fortunately, there are ways to deal withemotional bullyingat work.
Speak to the bully in private
Sometimes, it may be more advisable to speak to the bully, especially if he is senior to you or is much older. Sometimes, the natural bossiness that comes with age can be perceived as bullying when it is not intentional. If you can, explain to the bully how he is making you feel and ask him to be more thoughtful before he speaks to you. If he refuses to admit that his behaviour is out of order, you will then be perfectly within your rights to take the matter further.
Deal with the issue in public
Depending on the circumstances, it may be best to just deal with the issue at work and in front of everyone else. When the bully says or does something you believe is inappropriate, immediately tell him that you do not like his tone or what he is saying that that in future, you would appreciate it if he could desist from making you feel uncomfortable. That may be enough to stop the bully in his tracks, especially if other colleagues have noticed and understand what you are saying.
Don’t be alone with the bully
Emotional bullying is likely to be at its worst when it is just you and the bully present. As far as possible, make an effort to avoid being alone with him. Hopefully, he will think twice about bullying you in front of others, no matter how harmless he thinks it is. On the other hand, if he does continue to behave inappropriately, you will have plenty of witnesses to hand.
Get together with others
Watch how he behaves with other people. Is it just you whom he bullies? If it is, you may want to consider why. It could be because you are not assertive or experienced enough, in which case, you may want to try and change your ways. If other people are also victims of his behaviour, you may want to get together and work out ways of approaching the issue, but don’t be tempted to turn the tables and bully him in response. You should feel better knowing that you are not alone.
Ask others to intervene
If you have colleagues you feel you can trust, particularly older, more experienced ones, tell them what is going on. They may be able to intervene with the bully and support you when he takes things too far. Simply knowing you have people to hand who can back you up can be very comforting, even if they don’t say anything. You can also ask them to provide a witness report if the issue becomes serious enough that you decide to take it to your superiors.
Make a note of all incidences
Start to make a written note of every bullying incident, including time, place, what was said and witnesses present. Writing it down like this will help to ensure that you remember everything that has happened, especially if the bully later tries to deny that he has done anything wrong. It will also help to show your superiors that you are not making a fuss out of nothing and that you have been really affected by what is happening.
Report to your superiors
If the situation has become serious, is making you dread going to work, or you simply feel that you cannot deal with the situation on your own, then it is time to report it to your superiors. It is their duty to deal with any issues that are affecting your productivity and general happiness at work, so lay your cards on the line and ask for the matter to be investigated. If your immediate boss doesn’t react, don’t give up – go to his boss or to human resources and insist that the matter is dealt with, perhaps by mediation or transferring the bully to another team.
If you are being bullied at work, don’t sit back and ignore it or your mental health could suffer as a result. You have the right to feel safe and secure when you are at work.
