There’s always someone who won’t behave at Christmas
Christmas brings together many people. Often, there is friction between invitees, though there is no excuse for bad manners over the holiday period. If you have experienced someone being rude at your Christmas celebrations, you may want to be prepared for next year. It's unpleasant and it affects everyone if someone is permitted to continue being rude in front of family and friends at a time which is supposed to be the celebration of Christmas. Here are suggested ways of dealing with bad manners.
At Christmas, it's worthwhile reminding children in advance to be on their best behavior. Tell them that when guests are around, no bad manners will be tolerated. Christmas is a time when there are a lot of treats available to everyone, though if you find your child being greedy and taking food that should be offered to guests first, remind the child of your warning. If a child persists in misbehaving, talk to the child, away from the guests and warn him/her that if the bad behavior continues, they will spend some time in their room instead of enjoying the Christmas with others.
There is no reason why visitors should be exempt from being told about bad manners. However, how to do you tell Uncle Jim that he drank too much and is being bad mannered? How do you tell your mother-in-law that her criticism of the Christmas dinner is not only bad manners but is unwelcomed. The fact is in both of these cases thatdiscretionary actionis required to divert the attention of those who display bad manners.
The mother-in-law may be trying to help, but she may also be critical because that's her nature. Instead of being hurt by her bad manners, invite her to give you her recipes for next year. That will soon stop her criticism and other guests will be unaware that she was even being rude. People who criticize others thrive on seeing those they criticize getting upset. If you don't take the bait, then it makes their little episodes of bad manners pointless and they stop.
The drinking guests who are bad mannered can be calmed by simply offering them something to soak up that alcohol, while making sure that their hands are too full to pick up another glass. Remove the glass from their hand, and replace the glass with a nice turkey sandwich putting a serviette in the other hand. Ignore the fact that they were bad mannered or make light of it so that it doesn't upset everyone. If they really are obnoxious in front of the children, then do take them to one side and explain that the children are going to have their Christmas spoiled if they continue.
One of the things that people need to learn from an early age is how to be grateful for the gifts that they are given. If opening presents with friends and family, be sure that the kids know not to show disappointment at a gift they are given.
If adults do this, the children will know straight away that the adults are displaying bad manners, especially if the giver of the gift is present. In a situation such as this, all you can do in cringe quietly and console the giver when you get a moment. People who are so ungrateful aren't worthy of the gift given and you shouldn't let it spoil Christmas for anyone.
Bad manners at the dinner table can be stemmed by the host by simply directing the order that people receive food in. For example, vegetable dishes can be passed around the table leaving greedy guests who you know will take too much food at the end of the food chain. Similarly, discourage anyone grabbing more than their fair share by simply asking them to leave enough for everyone.
The wine glasses can by filled by the hostess rather than placing the bottles onto the table if you believe that there are guests who will take advantage and drink too much. You usually know which guests are likely to become bad mannered, and by serving the drink individually, you are not allowing them to fill up their glass too frequently at the expense of others.
Bad manners at Christmas really are not called for, but they do happen. The bigger the upset caused, the more it spoils everyone's Christmas. Instead of letting rude people dictate the quality of your Christmas celebrations, stem behavior you consider as bad mannered by politely responding rather than fuelling the bad mannered guests or family members with more to complain about.
It takes a lot of will and a lot of thinking things out in advance to avoid letting bad mannered people spoil Christmas. The mother in law who criticizes everything could even be asked to cater for everyone next year. The drinker can be diverted to the washing up, instead of being allowed to sit near the alcohol and the child whose bad manners make you ashamed can be sent to their room to find their manners, before returning to the party in a more polite frame of mind.
