The all Important Guest List
Perhaps one of the most stressful things you will now need to contend with as you prepare for your wedding is preparing your guest list. You certainly do not want to leave anyone out, but at the same time you are aware of the expenses that might be involved and you do not want to overspend your budgeted amount for your reception.
The best way to develop your guest list for your wedding is to sit with your parents, your fiance, your fiance's family and create guest lists in a specific sequence and then cross reference them and eliminate duplicate entries. Guest lists are typically divided up into categories of friends and family members of the bride, friends and family members of the groom and perhaps friends of both the bride and the groom.
It would be in the best interest of everyone that lists are developed for each category and marked with notations such as "must invite", "should invite", and "may invite" which will assist you in paring down the list should you need to do so. Keep in mind that you may want to send announcement cards out to those whom you are unable to invite to your wedding and your reception so lists should be made with this in mind.
Friends who to ask and who can we eliminate?
When it comes to inviting friends to our wedding this is often the time where we can make some easy decisions about who to invite and who to not invite. Clearly if you have a close personal relationship with someone and have had for many years, you would want them to be a guest at your wedding to share this exciting time with you. However, friends whom you have not seen in more than a year may be safely excluded from your wedding invitation list, even if they invited you to their wedding.
Family Members what about children?
Many times it is difficult to invite an aunt and an uncle and not invite cousins, nieces, nephews and other members of your family. However, you must always take into consideration that children can be very disruptive at weddings and at receptions and you want your day to be perfect. Weddings and receptions are not commonly fun for young children and their boredom could cause them to become disruptive and act up causing distractions on your special day.
More Family Members - What about various cousins?
If you have cousins that you have been extremely close with but others who you have never had a close relationship it is often appropriate to invite those whom you have remained close with and exclude those whom you have not had a close relationship. Do not feel that because you invite one cousin you must invite them all, this could cause you to quickly exceed your intended guest count.
What about co-workers?
If you do not spend time with co-workers outside of work there is no need for you to send them an invitation to your wedding. A wedding announcement may be appropriate after the wedding but do not feel obligated to invite them to attend the ceremony or the reception.
How do we handle friends who are single?
If you or your fiance have friends who are single and are seeing someone seriously you should consider sending an invitation that includes both your friend and a guest. If they are single and not involved in a relationship you should feel free to send the invitation to only them.
Who gets to invite how many people?
Typically the best way to deal with this is to divide the total count you wish to achieve and divide it equally between the bride and the groom allowing each to have the same number from their side which will prevent anyone from feeling like they've been cheated.
What happens with those we don't invite?
The best rule of thumb to use for invitations is to create two (2) lists. The first list will be your initial list of people who you would like to invite to your wedding and simply feel they must have an invitation and those invitations would be made first. As you receive regrets from people in this list, you should then send an invitation to people on the second list that you would like to have attend. Remember, generally about one quarter of the people you invite will not be able to attend your wedding or your reception.
