Making that Man Feel Good about Age
When a man reaches his prime, he is the first to boast it. However, there is a hill in life over which everyone has to pass when the prime is past and the waistline thickens. After that, skin turns to ripples and gravity takes over, the prostate being the main topic of concern that men are not so happy to talk about. Old age isn't dignified. It's downright miserable. The last thing that a man of over sixty needs to be reminded of is that they have reached the age at which to expect packets of pocket handkerchiefs or socks. Inside that wrinkled skin is a kid trying to get out.
The man over sixty won't want either of the above mentioned items. If they haven't got socks, no doubt their good lady wife will buy them. They don't interest the man, but are just one of life's necessities to keep their feet covered. In fact, if they had their way, they would revert to wearing sandals against bare feet. They don't want handkerchiefs because they have an adequate supply of paper tissues and, after all, handkerchiefs are for “old” people.
The walking stick that converts into a seat is another item to avoid. It implies that they don't have the stamina to stay upright for long, and that's certainly not what they want to admit even if it's fact. Life is throwing some pretty hard bricks at them, and the walking stick which converts to a seat would be counted among those bricks. Think young. Think virile. The over 60 year old man isn't yet over the threshold of being a pensioner and certainly doesn't want to be seen as one.
Avoid jigsaw puzzles like the plague. Reminiscent of what old people do in nursing homes, the gentleman adventurer doesn't want the label of “old” and a jigsaw puzzle kind of puts them in the same bracket as those “wrinklies” they dread becoming. They're not quite there yet, so wait another ten years, and it's likely they won't care any more about whether their gift is one for people who can't move out of their armchair.
Avoid music unless you know what their taste is. It makes it easier if you know them well enough to be able to pinpoint exactly what they like, but if you don't and simply base your judgment on their age, you typecast them and the typecasting may be totally inaccurate. Those who grew up with the Rolling Stones certainly won't be lulled by The Bay City Rollers, so avoid a faux pas by not buying them music.
The 60 year old is still trying to be a 40 year old. Their body may not be letting them, but by goodness their mentality is such that they wish it would. They are unlikely to appreciate anything associated with age. It's like rubbing it in that they are past their prime, and writing them off. What they need is their dreams even if they never fulfill them. A book on places far away they always dreamed about going would go down better than a fireside book of poems. It's all a matter of flattery, and at this age they need all the flattery they can get.
Men over sixty shouldn't be bought fishing rods. At a certain age, men feel they are out to pasture. Sitting by the side of the lake for hours on end on a wet day isn't exactly the action they had in mind. The point is that at this age, the flesh is still willing, but the body may not actually be capable of fulfilling all those athletic dreams. Give them video game instead where they can become that young hero from the comfort of their armchair and you may just be on the right track. The over sixty year old hasn't lost all those ambitions. It's just that the arthritis gets in the way of him fulfilling them.
It's a very sensitive age when the top of the hill has already been hit and the slope goes downward. Just occasionally, they want to open a gift and be surprised that someone recognized that young person hiding beneath their skin and actually got it right. Their dream gift doesn't come in a chocolate box. It doesn't come in the form of a movie remembered from 40 years ago. These are all things which are relatively thoughtless. Their blood pressure medication means they have to keep down the cholesterol, and they don't want you to remember that they watched the first James Dean movie in black and white when it first came out. What they want is some recognition that they're still the man of the house, even if their wife won't admit it.
The things to avoid are things associated with age. Old Spice aftershave isn't the vogue any more. It might have been in the sixties, but it isn't now. The advertisements on the TV that show all the sexy men are those advertising more adventurous aromas, and maybe, just maybe, they want to get back a little of that feeling of youth by actually being offered something associated with youth, though not with memories.
Old age is undignified. It isn't kind, and the gifts which are given with no thought for the man who hides behind the beer gut and the arthritic limp are those to definitely avoid. Replace them with gifts which offer opportunity and optimism and you may just be half way to succeeding to please them. A workshop tool is always handy and makes them feel useful. There's a very definite pattern involved in ideas to avoid since all those the recipient will associate with the downward slope their life is taking would indeed be gifts that won't be well received. Give them something that makes them feel younger and you're on the right track.
