Keeping Calm Cool and Collected when Working with Difficult People
Even if you enjoy what you do for a living, difficult colleagues may send you scurrying to the want ads. Unfortunately, it's unlikely you'll proceed through your career without encountering individuals who negatively influence the work environment.
It may seem unrelated but one of the best ways to keep calm and collected at work is to take care of yourself. Exercise is a wonderful stress reducer and will allow you to release negative emotions. Take a walk, jog, swim, work out at the gym or whatever floats your boat as far as physical activity is concerned. It will help you relieve tension and get a good night's sleep. You'll return to the work place with a fresh mind and rested body.
Use your support network of friends and family to safely vent outside the work place. Angry words on the job, even to a trusted co-worker, can come back to make things more difficult for you in the long run. Save your verbal outbursts for trusted people outside of the organization.
If you find yourself growing apprehensive at the thought of dealing with the problem person and find that your unease grows as your starting time draws near try some brief mental exercises in the parking lot. Visualize packing away your anger and resentment to begin the day with a renewed outlook. Remind yourself of the good things in your life and that this issue is simply something that you have to deal with but does not dictate your attitude and emotions.
Whenproblemswith a colleague arise take an emotional step backwards. Remind yourself that you're in a professional setting and you're expected to behave accordingly. It doesn't matter if the other person loses control. Remain calm and walk away for the moment if necessary. There's no point in having a shouting match as it will only draw negative attention to both of you. What's worse it will only cause all ready bad feelings to fester and make reconciliation more difficult.
If you're having difficultycommunicatingin a civil manner suggest to the individual that you have a private talk. Making a scene in the office is not a good idea so select an quiet, out of the way area where you can hash through things. If the other person is willing to work on the problem, ground rules can be laid down so that you can behave in a civil manner and proceed with getting the task accomplished. Take the time to listen as well as talk. Try seeing the world from their perspective. The insight may help you deal with the problem in a more positive manner.
Stayobjectivewhen the individual presents plans or ideas. Remember to focus on the task at hand rather than your feelings towards the person. If the idea is sound let them and the group know how you feel. While you may never be best friends such exchanges can ease negative emotions and promote team work. It will make you both look good.
If someone is making it difficult for you to present your own ideas or constantly downgrading your work continue to do your job to the best of your ability. When responding to unfair criticism present your argument in a logical, fact based fashioned. Leave your emotions at the door and relay on sound professionalism to see you through. If the negative remarks have some justification acknowledge that you are open to change if it will improve the outcome. This attitude will help take your critic's steam away and can go a long way towards easing tension.
You can further ease your own state of mind by protecting yourself. Make sure you document your work efforts and keep them safe from spying eyes. Peace of mind will help you better deal with the situation.
If things are out of control and you need to talk to a superior, proceed with caution. Be sure to state your case in an unemotional fashion using factual examples of how this person has made your work life difficult. If possible you can make a case for not being put on the same projects or perhaps transferring to a different department. This is an extreme step in when dealing with most personal conflicts so think it through before taking action.
The last resort is finding other employment, at least if the conflict is the sole reason for the change. There are circumstances severe enough to warrant this step and if you're convinced this describes your situation start looking for another job. Often the act itself will make you feel better. At least you're doing something positive and it may help you regain a sense of control.
Employee conflicts are common and the reasons and circumstances vary as much as the individuals involved. Most of the time the issue can be resolved to the point where it doesn't interfere with work. Remember you only have to work with him or her, you don't have to like them.
