It is better to Give than to Receive – Graceful
The entire concept of Christmas giving (if you leave out the pagan frantic immediate gratification of gimmie! gimmie! gimmie! ) is a concept of charity and love. A cherished expression of this is the old adage, “It is better to give than to receive.” In addition to being a spiritual description of enrichment, it is true on a material level as well. If someone gives you a gift that you truly need, and want, and appreciate, then of course it is great to receive a gift. But if the gift is expensive to maintain, and requires a revision of lifestyle just to operate it, then there are many times when you would really rather not have this “gift” around.
It is tempting to attribute less-than-kind motives to the giver, but that is pure speculation. Holiday giving is cultural, and each family has its own traditions. When families merge in marriage, sometimes these traditions can clash, resulting in some hurt feelings, but generally guidelines can be established that allow the holidays to remain joyous instead of resentful.
Even within a family, crises arise. When your sister decides, for instance, that you collect large items of fine crystal, buy a case to put them in, and announce to her that the collection is complete! If she continues to give, even if she knows that you are moving every year, then ask her if you can use some space in her hallway so that the collection can be properly displayed. Or, after all, she is your sister, tell her to stop.
Giving gifts feels wonderful when I do it for other people (my Christmas giving is fairly standardized to include items that are quickly used up and out of the way, but I am a generous person throughout the year,) so I know that there will be a certain bounty awaiting that it is my duty to cope with.
If there is a person who is not schooled in my eccentricities who commits the horrible mistake of giving me a gift that I absolutely do not want, then I tell them that I really appreciate their thinking of me, I thank them profusely for their generosity, and I stop at the local thrift store on the way home, so that someone who wants it and needs it will have it. That's part of the joy of receiving a gift, after all; you get to do whatever you want with it, especially if they don't make a habit of visiting you at your house.
It truly is better to give than to receive. We shouldn’t deprive other people of this joy simply because they can’t read our minds.
