Importance of Domestic Engineers
A domestic engineer can be defined as one who stays home and manages the duties of a household, including the cooking, cleaning, child rearing, paying bills. A domestic engineer doesn't get a traditional paycheck or salary but is rewarded by the gratefulness of his or her family. That is a lovely picture, right? The fact is that domestic engineers don't get enough praise or compensation for the work that they do. And believe me, it is a lot of work.
My situation is somewhat different that the traditional stay-at-home mom scenario. My husband and I both worked full time jobs. We got married and started our happy life as newlyweds. When I found out I was pregnant, we both planned to continue to work full time and send our little addition to daycare. I was never against daycare and I believed there was value in sending our son socialization, infant education, etc. That all changed when I held that little bundle in my arms. Just before I was to return to work after maternity leave, I had a change of heart. I couldn't imagine sending my six-week-old baby to be cared for by someone else. I know many people do it and many people don't have a choice. I didn't think we had a choice. But two weeks before I went back to my job, we decided that we could survive on one income. I would have loved to become our household's domestic engineer but it made more sense financially for my husband to take that role.
During the time that I was home on maternity leave, I was stunned by how difficult it was to raise a newborn and keep the household under control. I slept when he slept and tended to him when he was awake. I was too exhausted to get much done during the day and was constantly playing catch-up with dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and our budget. After the decision was made to keep our son home with my husband, I really began to worry. Would he be able to handle it? I had been with the baby constantly for six weeks and one day I was supposed to hand him and all of the other duties over to my husband and leave them alone for eight hours? Well, that is exactly what I did.
I felt bad for a while, knowing how much work it would be for my husband. This was probably not how he had pictured life after baby. But we made it work. They got the hang of things pretty quickly and established a routine. When I would come home and the sink was piled with dishes or the towels weren't washed, I could sympathize. There were days too that I walked in to the yummy aroma of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies or the mouth watering smells of dinner brewing on the stove. For the most part, he was doing an excellent job as a domestic engineer.
For someone who has never had the opportunity to walk in the shoes of a stay-at-home mom or dad, it is easy to take it for granted. It is easy to imagine your partner sitting at home and watching soap operas all day. I am grateful that I was able to experience what my husband is going through. At times I find myself getting frustrated when things aren't done but then I take a step back and realize that whatever took my husband's focus away from one task was surely just as important. Show your domestic engineers all of the gratitude you can because without them, day-to-day life could come to a screeching halt. Or you may just have to do it all yourself.
