Identify the Office Flakes is it you
It's a daunting task to accurately identify the office flake as they can be as varied as breakfast flakes. Some are sweet. Some are nutty. And some are hidden in a camouflage of marshmallow fluff shaped like celestial bodies and dyed the colors of the rainbow. They look really great but you know that psychotic little leprechaun is lurking in there somewhere! But how do you tell if you are a flaky employee? It could be as easy as determining which type of cereal you prefer.
Let's begin with the "frosted" flake. This is a flake that almost everyone likes. Making them a part of your morning routine is enjoyable. They start the day by sugar coating everything in their path. Should a co-worker show up wearing different colored shoes, a skirt coffee coated during the commute or a hair style that would stop Cher dead in her tracks, the frosted flake will shower them with compliments about their trend-setting style. A late arrival to the office can expect to hear his tardiness defined as an admirable example of free-spiritedness. The boss attempting to berate an employee on poor performance will receive condolences and offers to assist with whatever is making her such a "grumpus". Yes, the frosted flake can make the dark cloud of a bad day dissipate but more than a cup full will make you sick to your stomach.
More irritating are the "nutty" flakes. These flakes blend in with the group but it doesn't take long to identify the crunch amongst the oats. Got a deadline in thirty minutes and encounter a paper jam? This is the guy who will completely dismantle the copier in an effort to "help" you. Did you voice a criticism about an office policy? This is the girl who will include it, with your name, in the next company newsletter. Share with a co-worker that you are tired of the free soda-pop being warm? This flake will lead the effort that will end in cold sodas that now cost $1.00 each. The nutty flake is not necessarily someone everyone hates. They are just avoided as a matter of self preservation.
Let's refer to the most dangerous flake in the office as "Lucky". He is always perfectly groomed but is forever having accidents that result in someone else wearing the plate of spaghetti he was eating for lunch. She is the one with perfectly coiffed hair that convinced you that haircut would be fabulous. He is the one who cuts you off in the parking lot making you lose those three minutes that caused you to clock in late. They are the ones who will intentionally break the copier, knowing your deadline is fast approaching, and also conveniently having a similar version already printed out and ready for submission. This is a person to avoid at all costs. Karma has a way of repaying these actions in kind but it is best to steer clear while waiting for their actions to catch up with them.
Using these brief descriptions should help you to determine not only who the flakes are in the office, but also the degree of crazy they represent. So take a look around the office and see who the flakes really are. If you can't find any, chances are it is you.
