How to Survive Working with Difficult Colleagues
Having to work all day every day to earn a living is hard enough, but when you are forced to work with difficult colleagues, it can become unbearable. However, you can survive working with difficult colleagues if you are prepared to be patient and assertive when necessary.
Try to work out why they are difficult
It may help you to deal with a difficult working relationship if you understand why the other person behaves in the way he or she does. It could be that your colleague has a difficult home life, or is simply so focused on the job that he doesn’t think about the effects of his behaviour on others. It may not change the way he reacts around you, but you may at least be able to let any irritation pass you by rather than continually offend you. Arrange aprivate meetingwith your colleague for a discussion – the fact that you hand out an olive branch may be enough to solve the problem.
Work hard
Many difficult people are tough on themselves and have high expectations of others. If you don’t appear to be doing your share of work, it is likely to worsen the relationship between the two of you. Make an effort to do what is required of you and a little bit more. Organise your time so that you can maximise your productivity. The fewer reasons you give your colleague to be disappointed in you, the better your relationship should be. However, don’t allow your colleague to work you into the ground. If his expectations are too high, you need to say so.
Be courteous and professional
When someone is difficult, especially to the point of being out of order, it can be hard not to be defensive and snappy in return. However, that is likely to worsen the relationship and make working conditions impossible for you. Instead, always be polite and professional and try to remember that your colleague’s attitude probably has nothing to do with you, but is simply his way of trying to get the job done. At the same time, you do have the right to expect someone to be professional in return, so if you feel that his behaviour is going too far, you will need to move on to the next step.
Be assertive
There will be times when enough is enough and you will need to be assertive in telling your colleague that he needs to start treating you with respect. You shouldn’t have to put up with rudeness or thoughtless behaviour. Ideally, you should take your colleague to one side, rather than deal with your issues in public, particularly if your colleague is your senior. However, if necessary, you may want to talk to your supervisor or a supportive colleague and ask him or her to go along with you.
Minimise your daily contact at work
Unless you have to work directly with your colleague on a daily basis, you can probably arrange things so that you have little to do with him. It is in your supervisor’s interest for you to be happy at work, so talk to him about moving teams or giving your colleague tasks that will keep him away from you for the majority of the time. However, be prepared to explain the situation fully to your boss, along with examples of your colleague’s behaviour – otherwise he may suspect that you are the difficult one.
Remember it is not your fault
Provided that you have done everything you can to improve the relationship with your colleague, you have nothing with which to reproach yourself. Remind yourself of this and, when your colleague irritates you, rise above it. Note how he behaves with others too; he almost certainly behaves in a similar manner, which gives you all the more reason to ignore his behaviour and get on with your own job regardless. Your colleague may well realise that you are not affected by his treatment of you and will back off anyway.
Difficult colleagues can be hard to handle, but only if you let them be so. Make your life more manageable by working on your response to them.
