How to Reduce Family Tensions at your Thanksgiving Dinner
Thanksgiving is not always a wonderful time of year. Some families have a rough time getting along and tend to avoid each other during the year, so when they are gathered together on Thanksgiving, the tension starts building until arguments break out. Once loved ones begin fussing and fighting, the rest of the day seems to go downhill.
If you have found yourself in the middle of this kind of holiday year after year or even if the tension is fairly new, there are somesuggestionsthat might help make your next Thanksgiving get-together go a little more smoothly.
- Activities. One thing that works for some families is having fun things to do for every age group. For example you can set a couple of jigsaw puzzles in one corner of a room, organize a football game in the backyard and have cartoons for the youngsters to watch. Other things people could do is watch movies or even a football game. You could set a card game that the adults can play or a game that everyone can play together. If people have activities they can concentrate on, instead of being stuck sitting around bickering, they might find it easier to get along.
- Conversation. You might have some success in keeping tension at a minimum by striking up conversations that everyone can participate in without issue. Examples could include football, movies, and even the meal itself. Try taking turns telling amusing stories, people tend to have a difficult time being grouchy when they are too busy laughing. Even if you end up more or less dominating the conversation, it might be better than letting everyone bicker and fight.
- Set up ground rules. This might sound impossible, but think of it this way: it is your house and you do not deserve to have the people you care about ruining your special meal! Before anyone steps one foot inside your home, make it clear that fussing and fighting and put-downs will not be tolerated...period. If anyone breaks this rule, they will be banished to another room to either eat by themselves or to work out the problem with whomever they are fussing with. Yes, it may feel like you are being a parent to even older members of your family, but if they are going to act like children, then so be it. In all seriousness, you do need to set the tone for the day by trying to keep things light and jovial.
- Divide and conquer. There are just times when certain family members do not get along, in this case, it might be better to separate them as best as possible. Example: if your sister does not get along with your wife, then do not sit them next to each other at the dinner table. Another tactic is to have certain members help with meal preparation, table setting and other chores in order to keep them away from members they do not get along with.
Thanksgiving does not have to be a war zone, if there are family members that do not get along, try to keep them busy. Sometimes it takes one person making a stand and not be willing to just overlook these situations, especially during a meaningful holiday like Thanksgiving.
