How to Deal with Difficult Colleagues
Difficult co-workers can make your work life unbearable. After all, it is a very well-known fact that people you work with are just as important to your well-being as the work that you are doing every day. Therefore, if you are surrounded by difficult people, or if it is just one person that is making your time at work less than pleasant, your entire work attitude and ethic can go down the drain. Thus, it is imperative to learn how to cope and deal with those difficult colleagues who always seem to get under your skin and not want to get out from under there.
The first strategy to help you deal with Mr. or Mrs. Difficult is to stay calm. No need to blow a fuse over something that has been said or done, and thereby jeopardize your own reputation at work. Instead, be sure to stay cool under pressure, as that is viewed as a sign of being in control and being more respectable. Moreover, if you are viewed as the person who is impossible to irritate, the source of your frustration will be more likely to grow tired of his or her irritating ways and retreat back to his or her cubicle.
Sometimes, frustration can dissipate if you get to the root of the problem and learn your annoying co-worker's true intentions behind his or her actions. Try to identify what triggers you and what triggers the other person to act out the way he or she does. Even if it looks like the person is out to get you, perhaps he or she has a really valid reason or motive behind the actions. Understanding your enemy is a big step towards finding some middle ground that can make it possible to deal with him or her.
Sit down with your co-worker and address the issues at hand head on. Do not do this during your usual work hours, but instead, move the setting for a conversation to a non-threatening, neutral environment, like a coffee shop or a park. Let the person know where you are coming from and what steps you think can be taken to resolve the building tension. Do not present yourself in a holier-than-thou light, but try to keep things fair and show that you are truly looking to arrive at a resolution.
Get some outside, unbiased advice on how to deal with the source of your frustration. Be sure not to gossip behind your annoying co-worker's back, but go outside of your office, to someone who is an impartial party, someone who will not report back to anyone at your office. Talk it out and ask for advice. Perhaps the third party you go to will be able to help you view a situation from a different angle and offer some invaluable advice on how to ease up the tension with the person in question.
Remember to continue treating your frustrating co-worker with respect. Do not stoop down to a grade-school level and resort to name-calling and back-stabbing. Remember that it takes two to tango and make a work environment hostile. Be sure to show that you are still respectful of the other person. You do not have to try to become best friends, but show signs that you do unto others as you want done unto yourself.
If all else fails, take the next step and go to your superiors to make them aware of a hostility that is building up in your workplace. Most likely, they will be just as interested as you to resolve the situation in a calm and respectful manner so that the work environment does not become toxic to everyone. Make sure that you do not come across as a tattletale, so present the situation in a clear and objective manner, and make it clear that it is in your best interest to come to an amicable resolution to a problem.
Once you equip yourself with the above skills, it should not be too difficult to come to some sort of an understanding with your irritating co-worker. Try out any of the tips, and see which one works best for your situation. Above all, don't despair before trying at least several of these different strategies. Your co-workers are human, too, and, chances are, it is also in their best interest to maintain a stress-free workspace.
