Boss Coworker Behaviors Apology
Everyone at some point in their lives will burn a bridge with a coworker or a boss. We are all human. Our emotions can sometimes get the better of us. Maybe we are overtired or something stressful is going on outside of work that causes us to over-react and project our feelings onto other people? So, what do we do when we burn a bridge? How do we mend it?
We cannot change the attitude, behaviors, reactions or actions of others. The only thing we can do is take a look at our attitude, our behaviors, our reactions and our actions. We can change the way we react to situations. We can change how we behave in a given situation. We can change our attitudes about anything and we can change our actions toward others.
The first step in mending broken bridges is to take a step back and assess the situation. What triggered our reaction, our words and our feelings? Then, once we find the answer to that question, we need to begin turning this around to us. For example, if your boss seemed overly critical one day and made a comment to you that you found insulting and instead of listening, you reacted to the words and said something heated back, what was it about you that made you react that way? Is there some truth to what your boss said to you? Is it painful for you to hear someone say what was said to you? Did someone in your past often use the same phrase or words that were hurtful to you? Did you take what they said out of context?
When someone triggers intense emotion in us, it is easier to react with anger and blame the other person for our feelings. However, we all have control over our reactions and our feelings. The responsibility lies on us for our actions and behaviors. Instead of looking outward at the boss or coworker, the best first step is to look inside of ourselves.
After we have reflected on the situation and determined what about ourselve caused us to behave in the manner we did or say the things we did, we need to apologize. I do not believe in making an apology an elaborate event. I believe the best apologies are ones that come from the heart, in person, and are simple. I don't believe in making excuses for behaviors or actions. I believe in simply saying, "I'm sorry". Then, offer a solution to prevent the same behavior or action from happening again. So, "I'm sorry" becomes "I'm sorry. In the future, I will think before I react" or "I'm sorry. My behavior was totally unacceptable and I know that I will do my best to prevent any situation like this from happening in the future".
We then cannot control how others will accept this apology. Perhaps the other person has reasons why they are unable to accept the apology or move on from the event. We cannot control the results of our apology. What we have to do is feel confident that we have done our best in attempting to mend the bridge. Then, we have to ensure we truly change our actions, our behaviors and our presentation. Only time can build trust.
