Are high fuel prices necessary? – No
Oh, sure. High fuel prices are absolutely necessary if you're a fat-cat Exxon oil executive who needs more and more money for upkeep of his two private jets, and to add a multi-million-dollar penthouse Las Vegas condo to his six other homes. And don't forget the villa in the Bahamas where he stashes his tax-free dough.
Of course, high prices are needed by each OPEC sheik who must add another roomful of babes to his harem, and a dozen more Mercedes to schlep them around during his Paris, Rome, Monaco and London vacations. And, remember, it takes lots of OPEC bribe money to keep American politicians friendly.
And, maybe most important, high fuel prices are necessary for the sleazy Congressman or Senator who's been taking under-the-table bribes from OPEC for decades. He's proud of his reputation with the nutcase tree-huggers as an environmentalist, while he continues to veto every Congressional bill that asks for immediate drilling for the billions of gallons of oil still untouched under American lands and offshore.
Speaking of nutcase tree-huggers, those guys firmly believe high fuel prices are necessary to punish evil American drivers for polluting the air. Did you know those damned car owners are wasting fuel by taking their families to such unnecessary places as work, church, school or home. They're responsible for foreclosing on polar bear ice floes and causing the North Pole to eventually melt into a Miami Beach resort.
High fuel prices are necessary for everyone taking their rake-off along the chain of oil suppliers. Every time OPEC raises its price by five cents a gallon, the refineries must raise their price by ten cents, the big oil companies need to raise their prices by 15 cents and the oil distributors must raise their prices 20 cents.
The last link on the chain, your friendly neighborhood gas station owner, has to up his price 25 cents. It's only fair, because poor Mrs. Gas Station Owner, and all the other spouses along the rake-off line, must pay higher prices at the grocery store.
The wealthy global warming experts need gas prices to increase so that there won't be so many of those pesky commuters out there. Al Gore and his pals need the roads clear for their own fleet of gas-guzzling SUVs, so they can go from city to city preaching conservation.
Finally, gas prices must continue to rise because all those crooks along the rake-off oil business line know they can get away with it. They're laughing like mad while they make more obscene profits, because they know none of the bribed officials in Washington will do a damned thing about it.
