Acceptable to re Gift
Much of the time, re-gifting is the epitome of tackiness. You receive a green- and purple-striped sweater from Aunt Bertha one Christmas, dig it out of the drawer, unworn, 51 weeks later, and re-gift it to Cousin Gertie. It’s so easy to convince yourself you did nothing wrong. After all, you were never going to wear it, Gertie likes green and purple combos and may get some use out of it and you’re saving yourself a few bucks.
The problem is, Aunt Bertha has a memory like an elephant. She recognizes the sweater during a chance meeting with Gertie. A comment like, “I gave a sweater just like that to Stella last year,” is all it takes for these two excitable ladies to pinpoint the sweater’s history. Bertha is hurt because you never appreciated the sweater and Gertie is upset because she didn’t merit an original gift from you.
Re-gifting a gift you didn’t want and never liked to a family member or friend shows a lack of sensitivity as well as a frugality that borders on stinginess. It’s bad manners and poor taste, and runs contrary to the true spirit of holiday giving.
There are times, however, when re-gifting is thoughtful and appropriate.
If someone outgrows a gift, yet it remains in exceptional condition, it makes sense to re-gift it to someone who would derive great enjoyment from it. For example, say your son, now 24 years old, once greatly enjoyed playing with building sets, such as Lego or K’nex. For the past 10 years, however, the building sets, which amounted to a total investment of several hundred dollars, are stored in the attic, unused and taking up space. It is certainly a generous act for you or your son to wrap these valued items and present them at Christmas to a young cousin or neighbor, or perhaps give them to a homeless shelter. The building sets are as good as new, and the young recipient won’t care in the least that they once belonged to someone else. Because of this act of re-gifting, the building sets will be enjoyed once again for many years to come.
Or, suppose your mother-in-law, shortly after your marriage, presented you with a beautiful set of diamond earrings that were in your husband’s family for three generations. Although your mother-in-law, who is now deceased, never specified that these earrings should be presented one day to your own daughter or daughter-in-law, “re-gifting” this treasured family heirloom to a young lady of the next generation is certainly the right thing to do, and your mother-in-law would undoubtedly approve.
There may be an item of slight or no monetary value that carries great personal significance. For example, re-gifting a religious medal of a favorite saint or a beautiful set of rosary beads might provide much spiritual comfort to a friend or relative who is in distress. A favorite book, enjoyed for many years but likely not to be re-read, can be re-gifted to a friend. Unwanted, but fresh, boxes of chocolate candy, received as holiday presents, can be re-gifted without guilt to different circles of friends. Better for someone else to enjoy the candy than to risk unwanted pounds or have it go to waste.
The act of giving and the intent of the gift say much about the giver and giver’s regard for the recipient. Re-gifting works only if no one is hurt. Re-gifting has value if the act of giving enhances the relationship and brings both the one who gives and the one who receives closer.
