ALT-4 Thanksgiving Fantasies Versus Realities

From 3arf

This time of year, it is not uncommon for some of us to allow our minds to slip away into softly-lit fantasies.  There, the smiling faces of cheerful family and friends hover about, anchored firmly to the dining room table by a golden, oversized turkey that claims visual dominance over a myriad of delicious side dishes and unbelievably white linen napkins folded just so.  These fantasies make us feel fluttery as images of an ideal Thanksgiving hang airily in our heads, but the insidious trap that Norman Rockwell set has a way of snapping us back into the reality of the holiday.Fantasy-  Your in-laws are coming in from out of town.  They arrive at your house, tired from their trip but overjoyed to see you once again.  There are hugs and pats on the back as you welcome them into the rich smells of the pending feast.Reality-  Your in-laws are condescending (“Oh honey, you know that HUMANS don’t need to put on “winter weight” right?”) and delusional (“A cab from the airport?  Certainly not!  What would people think?”).  Upon their arrival, your modest, middle-class home is belittled and the smell of your cooking is criticized for not being “Thanksgiving-y” enough.Fantasy-  As more guests arrive, you are elated to see how much your little nieces and nephews have grown, and you comment to their parents about how the children have “turned into such well-mannered young men and women”.Reality-  You and your spouse have made the conscious decision to not procreate, and validations of that decision run screeching and grubby-fingered all around you.  Your decrepit old dog is ridden like a horse, your garden is turned into a sandbox, and “something” has happened to the toilet, causing it to overflow.  Your niece complains about the off-brand juice that you have given her, and throws the cup to the floor.Fantasy-  The football game is on, and everyone gathers around the television to cheer on their favorite team, creating an atmosphere of camaraderie and good-natured ribbing.  You smile as you think about how something as simple as a football game can bring people together.Reality-  Football ranks in your list of “Top ten most boring things… ever”.  When someone asks you which team you’re rooting for, you reply “Uh… The Knicks?”  A friendly debate about the glory days of football turns into a full-fledged argument and words are shouted that are wholly inappropriate for adult ears, much less children.  Uncle Eddie storms out of the room and sits on the back porch, smoking a cigarette in quiet anger.Fantasy-  Dinner is served.  Everyone gathers around the immaculate table and gazes in awe as you deliver the crowning achievement- a twenty-five pound turkey, roasted to juicy perfection.  You are congratulated for preparing such a fine meal as tender slices begin to hit plates, and side dishes served in the most exquisite china are passed around.  Your family expresses their appreciation, and remarks that there is more food on the table than they’ve ever seen as they prepare to enjoy the fruits of your labor.Reality-  “Uhm… is something burning?”  After scraping charred bits from the meager ten-pound bird (slim pickings when you do your shopping last minute), you deliver the crispy thing to the ravenous hoard sitting at your table, and their response is less than enthusiastic.  The members of your family glance over at one another and manage to form weak smiles.  Someone mutters “What the hell is this?” under their breath.  Tough economic times mean that “exquisite china” is not exactly in your budget, so the mashed potatoes are served in the same plastic bowl that you eat popcorn out of on movie night.  You’re exhausted, but no one cares, and just when you think you feel the reassuring hand of your spouse on your shoulder, you realize that it’s just Cousin Larry, who tends to get “grabby” after a few glasses of wine.Thanksgiving can be a wonderful time- when it’s at someone else’s house.  The truth is, our fantasies and expectations can sometimes get the better of us, especially when it comes to the holidays.  Yes, and who hasn’t, at one time or another, dreamed of the perfect Thanksgiving gathering?  How wonderful it would be, for all of your hard work and planning to pay off with happy stomachs and happy hearts, the warmth of the holiday surrounding you like your favorite blanket.  Unfortunately, reality can sometimes stand in stark, nose-bridge-pinching contrast to those glowing images of the ideal Thanksgiving., and even Norman Rockwell wouldn’t blame you for saying “Let’s just skip it this year.”

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