ALT-2 Wedding the most Expensive Party of your Life
The most expensive party of your life.
Picture it: two people have survived years of adversity, have grown so close to each other that they literally know what their partner thinks, share the same tastes or not, in some cases have similar outlooks on life and now want to spend the rest of their lives together, doing everything they can to make the other happy.
I know, it sounds like some kind of cheesy romance film starring Meg Ryan, doesn't it? But no, we're talking about a wedding. Or at least, what a wedding should be.
In my experience, however, weddings are nothing more than a celebration of the baser instincts of mankind: gluttony, fornication, intoxication (chemically or alcoholically-induced). Do we really care about so-and-so's long struggle to get to the altar? No, we want to drink ourselves into a stupor, tell each other jokes that were not funny twenty-years-ago and have aged badly, and try to cop-off with the frisky bridesmaid.
Even worse than the relatives, however, are the two fools who are standing in front of the priest preparing to say "I do." They have actually sat at a table over many weeks (many months, possibly) and planned the whole event. What type of flowers are we going to decorate the church in? What kind of tuxedo should the groom wear? Should she wear the slinky dress or the revealing dress?
People cry at weddings because they know how much it cost, not because they feel any empathy or respect for those involved.
A real wedding one based on mutual love and respect should not contain a live band (and certainly not the London/New York Philharmonic Orchestra), no flowers imported direct from Fiori in Italy, no distant relations who are only there to take up space (and drink any surplus alcohol that your mother didn't get to) and they most certainly should never have to cost thousands of pounds.
Soap operas are often criticised for their excessively negative portrayal of weddings (well, have you ever seen one go right?), but frankly I think they are showing the best case scenario.
And here is exactly why weddings have been turned from a celebration of love into an expensive party: men and women read too many magazines, watch too many TV shows and far too many Meg Ryan films.
We all want that perfect wedding, don't we? We all want to wear that fantastic new Prada dress that costs thousands, we all want that diamond wedding ring, we all want a big church-do with all the bells and whistles, right? We have all been brainwashed into believing not just by the media, mind you, but by so-called-experts that a certain type of flower will bring you the positive karma you need for the years ahead.
So-called-experts are the worst, aren't they? You have to have your furniture arranged in a certain way or it will throw off your Qi, you need to wear the right-coloured shoes or else you will have Bad Karma, you need to find that right very expensive golden wristwatch.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we all do want an expensive party instead of a joyous occasion celebratig the union of two people, but I would rather elope to the Chapel o' Love than spend thousands of pounds just to see what I see every day:
mankind's indulgence in itself.
