ALT-2 Views on Marrying Young
VIEWS ON MARRYING YOUNG
With approximately a third of marriages ending in a divorce and another third of marriages ending up unhappy with the people staying together for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with compatability, friendship or love, it is essential that you at least help to make your marriage happy and lasting by choosing someone who is right for you.
The problem with marrying someone when you are young is that you are not as experienced and knowledgeable about relationships or the opposite sex as someone who has been around the block and seen a lot more of life, someone who is older. You might meet someone and believe you have fallen madly in love with them when it might be lust or infatuation which is really based on the physical or sex rather than something that will last.
You might also believe that you have met your "soul mate" and that this one is special yet because you have not had proper long term relationships before you are getting it wrong and you have yet to meet that very special person. The odds that you will conveniently meet the love of your life at a young age are extremely slim, it is a lovely idea but very unlikely to happen. You are far more likely to meet that special person when you are middle aged. You are also more likely to be able to make a relationship work, last and be happy when middle aged, as you have seen enough of life and had enough meets with the opposite sex to have learnt from them.
There are a few marriages that begin at a young age and last happily but they are very much in the minority. It is a lot more likely that you think you are in love, get married, and then realise you were not really in love and it was a five minute wonder which is not meant to last for decades. It is also very likely that you would be married to your spouse but then meet someone else that you like more. If you think about it logically the odds that the first person you fancy or like a lot is "the one" are almost impossible.
You will meet lots of people later on as you get older that you will like just as much or more. What happens then? Do you sneak around and see them in secret while makiang do with your mistake or do you get a divorce? If you have had children with your spouse and are maybe looking after and bringing up a baby or young child this would cause of lot of difficulties, obstacles and complications.
You have to ask yourself WHY you are marrying? If it is for so called security then a piece of paper does not give you this. The person can still walk away from you one day or divorce you one day. Marrying for security at any age is no guarantee of anything. If you are marrying because you are used to living with and being looked after by your parents and you cannot contemplate living alone and want to lean on and rely on a spouse then you are incomplete and just taking and using someone without really giving in return.
The odds of such a marriage lasting are very slim as the marriage is unfair on the person who is being leaned on. We make good partners when we are whole and complete not when we need to lean on someone. Confident people who are independent enough to stand on their own two feet and can take care of themselves are far more likely to get a desirable worthy partner and keep them. If you are marrying because you hate the idea of being single, maybe everyone else you know is married, then you are making a mistake and marrying for the wrong reasons.
If you marry young because you are lucky enough to have found your soul mate at an early age and you are sure that they are right for you then marrying at any age, even a young age, is right. But be sure that this really is love and you really are compatible as so many rush into marriage at a young age and then realise later on that they chose the wrong one and should have waited for someone they met after.
