ALT-2 Pros and Cons of being a Married Couple in the same Office
Workplace romances are commonplace and it's not unusual to find married couples working for the same organisation and even in the same office. Bliss you might think, being able to spend your working life in the company of the one you love. What could be better? Well. It may be true that your chosen partner is the person with whom you want to spend the whole ofyour life, but every second of that life? Most relationships benefit from a certain level of privacy and being married does not mean that you should do everything together. There are times when we could all do with a little time of our own. The ideal is to get a good balance and the question is whether or not working together tips the balance too far in the wrong direction. By examining some of the issues it raises, let's see if we can answer the question.
Financial
Let's start by looking at the financial aspects. There are some savings to be had from working in the same office, for example, it does allow you to make sometransportsavings if you travel into work together by car. Of course, if you work in different offices but in the same area you will benefit from this also. Perhaps the most substantial issue here is the financial risk involved. If you are both working for the same company, while you both may benefit when the company is doing well, through bonuses for example, you are also both at risk of losing your job when things go badly, as they did in early 2009. If you are both working for the same organisation and it goes bust, all income into the family home is lost at the same time. Perhaps we should heed our parents' warnings not to put all our eggs into one basket.
Privacy
A more day to day issue that will arise is around privacy. The office will, of course,be awareof your couple status. This will be particularly evident when you row, as every couple does. It's during these times that you might say disparaging things about your partner, heartfelt at the time, but soon regretted. Your office colleagues will be less likely to forget and your relationship will become the water cooler gossip topic. In addition, camps may form within the office supporting one of you against the other. This may be fine will you are in dispute with your partner, but will be problematic when things return to an even keel. All of this will add to your colleagues' view of you both as a couple and individually. It is likely your reputation will be undermined by displays from your personal life and this in turn could harm your standing, and therefore career prospects. This lack of privacy will put strain on your relationship and may damage the marriage. If you are a couple working together, the best advice is to keep your personal life out of the office.
Support
One major advantage is the support that you can provide each other, particularly in the face of office politics. You will eachbe awareof the work situation of the other, when there is a particular busy or stressful time for one of you, the other will know to offer support. This support may be private, at home, or may be public, by supporting your partner in the office. The down side is that others may not accept your support for your partner at work as anything other than from personal motivations and so it may not have the desired effect. Worse though, may be when you take opposite sides of a work issue. Particularly if it is over something that you both feel passionately about. The argument over work issues could easily spill over into an argument about your relationship.
Stress
Depending on the nature of the work that you both carry out, it is more likely that both of you will be under stress at the same time. When something is happening at work that causes a heavy workload or there are particularly difficult times for the office, if you are both working for the same organisation, you will both be under stress at the same time. This is likely to spill over into your private life and put strain on your relationship. One of the symptoms of stress is irritability and a shortening of temper. When you are both under this level of stress, it is likely to lead to serious arguments which could adversely affect your relationship. Working together only increases the likelihood of this happening.
Time
One area where there is a distinct advantage for a couple working together is that they can spend more time together, perhaps taking lunch and travelling to and from work. This might not always be welcome, but mostly would be good. Spending this level of time together and being in the sameenvironmentwill also make it less likely that an office romance springs up outside of the relationship. Most affairs are with work colleagues and so working together will reduce the risk considerably. That said, committed couples may not consider this a high risk to their relationship in any case.
Work-Life balance
Another consideration is ensuring that as a couple you maintain a decent work - life balance. There will be a tendency to discuss work issues at home and to bring your work and associated frustrations home with you. This can have a negative effect on a relationship and it is best to avoid. You will need to set down some strict boundaries about how you maintain a clear distinction between your work life and your personal life. For instance, you may decide to keep any work discussion to outside ofyour home. Whatever the rules that you make, you need to ensure you stick to them, otherwise you may find that work takes over your life.
Overall, the advantages of working in the same office are far outweighed by the disadvantages and I think it is generally not a good idea. However, if you are working together make sure that you discuss your rules and boundaries around what stays in private at home, and what stays part of your work at the office, and does not come home. Being clear about this distinction will help considerably.
