ALT-2 Making Thanksgiving Holiday Plans without Hurting Familys Feelings
There are a lot of good things about the holiday’s; seeing family and friends, good food and time off from work, but there are also some downsides, one of which is trying to figure out where to be on Thanksgiving day. The reason this can be stressful is because quite often your presence is wanted at more than one dinner table. And while you might think that some people would see this as sort of a blessing, especially those that don’t get invited anywhere, others see it as difficult waters to navigate because you obviously can’t be at more than one place at the same time.
This whole thing grows ever more complicated when family’s split apart and when you have a family of your own that have their own ideas about where to spend the day. How can anyone possibly figure out what to do in such a way that no one’s feelings get hurt?
Well, the honest answer, is you can’t, but you can minimize the hurt feelings by taking steps to show those people’s whose feelings are going to be hurt, that you care about them.
One way that people minimize hurt feelings is to rotate family get-togethers. You and your wife and kids have Thanksgiving dinner with your folks then Christmas dinner with her folks, for example, then the next year, do the opposite. This can obviously get a bit tricky though if your folks are divorced are so are your wife’s. In such a case you might have to have the rotating go on over several years.
Another option that some people try is having holiday meals on different days, so that those that come on the regular day can still have a holiday meal with family.
The thing is though, that there quite often comes a time, as people get older, where a family no longer wants to travel for Thanksgiving dinner, but prefers that other family come eat with them at their house. This too can be a problem if it breaks with tradition before others are ready, and can lead to hurt feelings if no one is willing to give in. In these cases, it’s best to start talking about a change many, many months, or even years before the switchover takes place. That way, it’s possible that maybe the whole family can decide together when that day should come, and how it might come about.
The bottom line is, hurt feelings can generally be either avoided altogether, or at least minimized if people simply talk with one another about what they’d like to do, and then if everyone is willing to compromise.
