ALT-1 What to do if you Receive Inappropriate Advances from your Boss
What to Know When Dealing with Unwanted Advances at Work
No one relishes an unwanted advance from a boss, colleague or subordinate at work. Yet, it happens sometimes and it is important to know both your responsibilities and your rights.
Responsibilities
1. Be very clear about what is acceptable and what is not with people. It is your responsibility to set the expectation about what makes you uncomfortable and what is ok. If a guy asks a girl out for lunch and she says "I'm too busy, but thanks" she leaves the impression she is open to an invitation another time. To say she's too busy to be polite when she is thinking "I don't want to go out with him," is misleading. The responsible answer is "Thanks for asking, however, I'd prefer we keep our relationship professional." If a boss puts her arm around you and it makes you uncomfortable, the clear answer is "I prefer not to be touched by you." This sets a clear boundary.
2. If a boss is out of line, don't lose your cool and retaliate or yell. A firm, clear answer is enough. A woman manager I know was asked to serve coffee during a manager's meeting. She began serving. As she came to the end of the table, a male manager pulled a few inches away from the table to display his unzipped pants. She certainly had the ideal weapon of choice with a pot of coffee in her hands! As tempting as it was, she ignored him, passed him by and reported it to HR.
2. If a boss says or acts out of line, don't tell a work friend in confidence. In cases of misconduct, there is no such thing as confidentiality. Work colleagues have the responsibility to report transgressions. A colleague should encourage you to go to Human Resources and report it or he or she must go on your behalf.
3. Report the incident. Human resource professionals are trained to investigate claims and are responsible to follow up and take action for transgressions. They are also responsible to protect you from any wrongful retaliation by the boss or person who stepped over the line. Investigations are important and can often resolve concerns that are simply misunderstandings. A young newly married employee became uncomfortable with her boss. Each time they met, he kept staring directly at her chest. She told her husband who - young and protective - wanted to go to work and punch the boss's lights out. Instead, she reported this to HR. HR discussed it with the manager only to learn the poor manager had recently bought new bi-focals. He was constantly tilting his head slight downward as he struggled to learn how to use them. Embarrassed and unaware, he turned the glasses in for new ones and apologized for the clear misunderstanding. The result was a happy employee and a manager who didn't get his nose punched.
Rights
1. When you report an incident, you have the right to expect HR or legal within your company to take timely action to investigate the situation. Managers have a duty to stop any inappropriate action and to protect your rights to work in a non-hostile workplace. You have the right to feedback about how the situation is handled.
2. You are protected from retaliation for reporting an incident. Managers must protect employees for exercising their responsibility to report behavior that violates good conduct.
4. If your HR manager does not take action, you have rights to call on both local government agencies and outside professional legal professionals to assist you. Check with your county government and read about your rights and how you are protected.
While rights can protect employess, the most important action rests with employess. When an employee takes personal responsibility to set a clear stand, he or she stops the bad behavior cold.
