ALT-1 Views on Marrying Young
I think this is one of those topics where the responses will go something like:
"I got married young, there is nothing wrong with that" vs "I waited until I got older to get married, and that is the way to go."
And truth is, both are true! Getting married is life altering, without a doubt. It takes an advanced level of compromise, maturity, and definitely an "in it for the long haul" mentality. A lot of kids in their 20's just do not have this mentality. But, a lot of adults in their 30's certainly don't have it either. The decision to get married is a serious one, and one that is very personal.
I was ready to get married at 17, but my boyfriend of 20 wasn't. At the time this was very hard for me to understand. I felt like he wasn't committed to me, he didn't love me the way that I loved him, or he was just in this relationship to get his kicks, it wasn't something he wanted to remain a part of. Of course, that wasn't the case at all. He just wasn't ready yet to be that much of a grown up, he needed more time to be, if nothing else, young and dumb. Three years later he finally came around, and we had a beautiful and wedding and now an even more beautiful marriage.
I was only 20 when we did get married, still very young by anyone's standards. But, by the time I was 18 I was earning a degree and paying for college myself, working a full time job, owned my own car, had my own apartment, and was completely self-sufficient. I was an adult. What made me ready for marriage at such a young age was that I was not reliant on him in any way to support or provide for me. I wasn't entering into a marriage still needing to be raised, I was entering into it ready to be a partner. Now when HE was 20, he was living in his parents' house and getting in trouble for not doing his chores. Clearly his inhibitions about getting married were much less about loving me and much more about still needing someone to take care of him. At 23, he had a house of his own, a real job, and a degree. He was ready to be a partner, too.
This stage in life comes at different times for different people. Its important to understand that, although true for some, in my case being 20 and married did not mean that I made a rash impulsive decision or that I was rebelling against my parents... or that i was knocked up! For me, the time was right. Our relationship, and we, had matured to a point that we were ready for this stage in life. Are most 20 year olds at this point in their life? Absolutely not! But for those that are, there should be nothing wrong with getting married, despite the stigma that society puts on young couples.
In my opinion, "I got married young, there is nothing wrong with that!" I think that it was a wonderful decision! I have the opportunity to enjoy being married without having to worry about my "biological clock ticking" for several more years, and I have even more time to enjoy my husband, until death do us part!
