ALT-1 The Relevance of Valentines Day
Valentines Day has been around since the Middle Ages, although there is no firm evidence to suggest which of the many Christian martyrs the day is meant to commemorate. In fact, until 1969 the Catholic Church used to recognise 11 Valentines Days. The first connection between romance and Valentines Day was created in 1382 when Geoffrey Chaucer wrote a romantic poem to honour the first anniversary of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia.
THE RELEVANCE OF ST VALENTINES DAY
Valentines Day means different things to different people, in much the same way as Christmas or birthdays. People can generally be plonked into four main categories with regards their attitude towards this day of romance and simmering passion:
THE DIEHARD FOLLOWERS
People in this category are romantic souls who seize the opportunity to show their tender side by either creating a day of amorous delights for their partner, or by declaring their heartfelt feelings to an unsuspecting suitor. The trouble with The Diehards' is that they try so damned hard. They force themselves and their partners to engineer a day of romantic perfection. This kind of pressure often leads to disappointment and the inevitable arguments when things fall short of expectations.
THE PINERS
This group of people are single and find the whole ordeal of Valentines Day very upsetting. It seems to them that everyone in the world is madly in love and Valentines Day is the day that confirms nobody wants them. Of course this is melodramatic, but most of us have been through it. You sit there on Valentines night watching some dreary romance on the TV, shovelling handfuls of chocolate and shovel loads of ice cream into your tearful little face wondering what you have done to be the last surviving single on this vindictive and pitiless world. OK, I'm a man so I probably swapped the chick flick for a horror movie and the ice cream for beer, but the principle remains the same. Valentines Day is to The Piners' what Christmas is to homeless people, a shuddering reminder of their predicament.
THE FLIRTS
Here we have the singles who love having the excuse to get down the local bar or fancy dress party and rip the clothes off the nearest warm blooded piece of meat; who is usually dressed in little more than a thong, whether they're male or female. I have also indulged in this type of behaviour too, although invariably without success. This would result in me reverting back to a Piner' by the time I got home! To The Flirts' Valentines Day is about sex, not love. There seems to be more people entering this category as the years roll past. Perhaps this is due to the breakdown in family values and the increasing emphasis on image and sex in the media.
THE SCEPTICS
Sceptics come in two forms people who just don't like being romantic and people that don't think there should be a designated day for romance. I feel that I now fall into the latter category; however I shall impart my thoughts about the former, first. To these people Valentines Day has no relevance whatsoever, unless of course their partner is a Diehard follower', in which case they have to brace themselves for those inevitable arguments. To have no romance in your relationship is like going on holiday and never leaving your hotel room; you're so close to something wonderful but you've locked yourself away from it.
My belief and fortunately my wife shares it is that you should show your love and devotion every day and that any big displays of affection like surprise holidays, balloon trips, or anything else, should be on your own terms and not because you calendar tells you to do it. You can't manufacture or force love and you shouldn't use one day to try and make up for underperforming in your relationship the rest of the year.
I tell my wife I love her every day and we will chat and cuddle in bed after work for no good reason, other than the fact that we like to be together. We go everywhere together, the shops (I hate shopping), the supermarket (not a big fan of that either) and we go out for bike rides and walks. She comes out with my friends and I go out with hers because we give and take and weave our lives together. To me that's what Valentines Day should be, except it shouldn't be a special day, it should be everyday.
