ALT-1 Inexpensive Holiday Gift Ideas for your Boss
The absolutely perfect gift for a boss combines lack of expense with the chance for him to show a softer side. Make a gift of a goldfish, in a bowl of course, and a packet of fish food. Your boss will be obliged to keep it alive or word will get round that he’s a fish murderer. Obviously if your boss runs a frozen fish food factory people will think that anyway.
It is actually considered very bad form to present a gift to your boss, as it implies cosying up to the powers that be. Sometimes the festive holiday spirit can make us take leave of our senses though and natural altruism comes to the fore. Just as the office party can lead to embarrassment by the photocopier, or drunken gropings in the stationery cupboard, gifts for your boss can be equally risky. It could single you out amongst your colleagues as the office creep, or make your boss wonder quite why he or she has been singled out in this way.
On the other hand your boss may be considered human too and your gift could be seen as a simple seasonal token. It’s always safer to go with the golden rule of cheap though, if you do decide to cross the boss gift giving line.
Cheap gifts can be the ideal way of showing your boss that you desperately need a pay rise. A great idea is to give him a brown envelope with a simple IOU in it, saying you owe him a Christmas present but he’ll have to wait another year. Write that a gift would take the last of your bus fare and the soles of your shoes already have an enormous hole in them.
Personal grooming items can be risky. If you gift your boss soap it could imply they smell, whilst gifts such as nose clippers may be looked at askance, and send them running for a hand mirror to peer at their nose. A tie is of course the perfect solution as long as you choose a plain narrow black one suitable for funerals. That way your boss can slip it on when he slinks off to the local pub and everyone will think he’s off to do a bit of pall bearing. Naturally if you happen to work for an undertaker a black tie will be the perfect gift anyway.
Home made gifts are frightfully inexpensive and can go down a treat if of the edible variety. It can be a risky situation though as if he eats anything dodgy over the Christmas period he may well begin to suspect you of poisoning those home made mince pies, in pursuit of his job. Something simple such as a nice carrot cake or gingerbread is an ideal home made food gift.
If you really want cross the unwritten rule of no gifts for your boss then always keep it cheap and simple. Of course this could put you at a slight disadvantage if the rest of your colleagues decide to break the unwritten rule too, and treat the boss to luxury food hampers and fine wines. In that case you will end up looking like the office Scrooge.
