ALT-1 How to Establish Safety Guidelines for Teen Drivers
The Lunacy of Teenage Driving
Last night at about 11:30 I was awakened by a persistent and annoying knocking on my bedroom door that was increasing in both tempo and tenor. It was my wife's son stating, "It's an emergency, Stan needs to talk to mom". My first thoughts immediately were related to Stan's driving and as it turns out, my instincts were as accurate as our cat's awareness that our new schnauzer was about to come around the corner. Sure as all my socks end up in the kid's drawer, Stan had been pulled over for "speeding". I still don't know exactly how fast he was going and I doubt I will ever be privy to that info, but I am not surprised by the news.
This latest event was foreshadowed by Stan driving too fast and attempting to a: either change the radio station, or b: simply driving too fast for the corner which resulted in him flipping the jeep and sliding safely into home plate which was our neighbors rather large oak tree. Of course there were denials right and left for that event as well. "I wasn't going that fast. I was only going the speed limit."
A few days earlier Stan had nearly missed t-boning my vehicle which also contained his sister, but who is counting. He was traveling so fast that on my first check in that direction, Stan was not on the radar yet.
And I know you all must be wondering, has this idiot step parent talked with speed racer about his driving techniques? The answer is a resounding, "No kidding Sherlock". I have also registered my concerns with the court consisting of his mother.
Although Stan wants to believe he is unique in all things, he is unfortunately incorrect. The principle which I have labeled as "the paradoxical impossibility of anarchy" applies here. The principle is simple. Anarchy can never exist because by its very nature no organization can exist without organization. The same principle is true for teen age driving. No teenager can drive. That is my conclusion.
Proof simple. The other day I was carpooling to work with a "teenager" and as I was feeling incredibly daring I asked him if he could drive on this particular day. True to form, this young man not only sped, but, he ignored the reality of the physical presence that was the automobile blocking our path. This young man redefined tailgating to mean pin the tail on the car in front of you. I could not see the license plate of that vehicle in front of us because we were that close. In addition, there were at least three separate times that the truck weaved out of the lane because of the critical nature of the radio. It had to be adjusted. I volunteered, with the hope that I could take the wheel for him while he made his adjustments, but his mind could not wrap itself around the concept, which I was trying to share. In the meantime, I am sweating not because it is hot, but because I am living in an adrenaline rush that has been created by this typical teenager.
I know that our local police department could readily attest to this common phenomenon.
Immediately following the car-flipping event of a few weeks ago, I was standing in line in the local store that was situated just past the scene of Stan's accident. When the other male adults in line found out that it was my stepson who had flipped the car, the stories simply flowed out of their mouths like several torrential rivers competing for top billing. Each adult in the store had a story of personal teenage driving horror to share.
So what is my point in sharing all of this good stuff with all of you out there in newspaper land? In addition to trying to entertain, I am hoping that we as a community might consider looking at raising the driving age to 18. Although 18 is still within the teenage drivers bracket, my hope would be that there would be at least a few more mature drivers out of that group who understand the truth, that it is not what we drive or how fast we drive that makes us who we are, but rather it is the respect we have for others and ourselves that shows our true character.
