ALT-1 History of Valentines Day
Did you know that the very first roots of Valentines Day came from the Roman Fertility Festivals? It's quite interesting really. Young males of nobility and Magistrates would strip down to their birthday suits and proceed to run wildly through the streets clutching "shaggy thongs",(I'm not really sure what a shaggy thong is) and striking those that would happen into their paths. Apparently young ladies would hold out their palms in anticipation of a strike from a thong. This was believed to bring good fortune, primarily to the pregnant polpulation. I wonder who thought that up?
"For this was on seynt Volantynys day, whan euery bryd comyth there to chese [chose] his make [mate]."
This poem was written to honor the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia. This took place in 1381. The time it was written had something to do with the mating season of some type of bird. But none the less, people take it as a Valentines Day Poem.
When Emperor Caludius II banned the marriages of Roman soldiers, evidently to keep them free from distraction, a certain Saint Valentine helped to secretly arrange such marriages. A truly noble person, I hope he was executed.
The most notable historic connection to this shifty holiday, came later in 1415. Saint Valentine was scheduled to be martyred on account of his being a Christian. Legend has it that on the eve of his execution he passed a note to his Jailer. The note was to his sweetheart, and simply titled "From Your Valentine". Heartwarming isn't it?
So how did this madness reach our continent? Well, it came with the first british settlers. As early as 1847 a genius young lady named Esther Howland used her fathers stationary shop to fabricate those cute, frilly little heart shaped boxes. Cha-Ching, this is the first record of capitalization on this "sweethearts" holiday. Hallmark still hands out an annual award for "Greeting Card Visionaries" in her name.
I personally think it's perposturous to single out one day of the year to show your feelings to your significant other. Every day should be Valentines Day if you truly care about that special person. But what does my measely opinion matter? Go ahead, like sheep to the slaughter, or flower shop. Spend your money on such themed objects to make you feel like you love her/him more.
While you are at it, why don't you pick up a "shaggy thong" and strip down for a jog. Since we all want to celebrate this holiday in it's complete glory.
