ALT-1 Avoiding Road Rage
The initial spark of anger that eventually flames into road rage is often justifiable. The actions of the offending driver are at best thoughtless and selfish, and may be downright dangerous. But while the anger is often justifiable, it is always futile.
Road rage is like spitting at an enemy standing upwind of you. It will always come back to rest on your own head.
In an ideal world, your righteous anger would show the offender the error of his ways. He would repent of his dangerous driving habits and promise to reform. He would agree to six months of driving school and two years of psychotherapy, and would always remember with tenderness how you changed his life for the better.
Unfortunately, the only tools you have at your disposal when driving - horn honking, obscene gestures, tailgating, flashing lights, screaming, and cutting in front of the offending vehicle - are ill-suited to persuade most drivers to reform. Instead of repentance, they choose retribution. The situation changes for the worse.
But you may counter, "At least it makes me feel better to get back at the jerk." Let's be honest. It doesn't. The more you dwell on the situation, the madder you get. The madder you get, the worse you feel. Meanwhile, the object of your fury couldn't care less. He isn't troubled in the least by your thoughts of murder and torture. If you told him, he would laugh.
And the worst is that as you fixate on "teaching him a lesson," you turn into the very thing you hate: a dangerous, selfish driver.
There's a better way.
Let it go.
Refuse to get suckered into getting angry.
To help you get started, below are five practical ways to avoid giving in to road rage.
1) Don't take it personally
The jerk who cut you off wasn't doing it as a personal affront. He wasn't throwing down the gauntlet and saying, "That's what I think of you. What are you going to do about it?" You're not going to see him later at a party pointing to you and bragging to his friends, "See, that's the guy I cut off." Half a second after he zoomed in front of you, he has forgotten you even exist. You can refuse to react and still keep your pride intact.
2) Develop a short memory
Just like the offending driver has forgotten you exist, forget about him. Instead of making careful note of the make and color of his car and his license plate number, actively try to forget these details. Listen to what's on the radio. Sing a silly song. Picture your boss in his underwear (or not). With practice, you can be mad enough to shoot the jerk one second, and then have forgotten completely about him the next.
3) Pretend the offending driver is one of your friends
There's something in our nature that makes it easier to forgive our friends and family for small indiscretions. Picture the driver as your friend, and you are less likely to get angry. Instead of being concerned about yourself, you will be concerned for the other driver. "He needs to be more careful. If he doesn't slow down, he's going to get hurt."
(Note: If using this method, be sure to remember later that it wasn't actually the friend you were picturing who cut you off. Don't call him up and lay into him about being an idiot driver.)
4) Create a relaxed driving environment
When you're relaxed, you are less prone to road rage. Put on some music while you're driving. If traffic is heavy, accept that there will be delays. If you feel yourself getting anxious or angry, take a few deep breaths. If it is urgent that you be somewhere at a specific time, set out a little earlier. If you're going to be late for something, then be late. Don't worry about it. Explain when you arrive that, "It is better to late to your destination than early to your grave."
5) Reward yourself
Create a system of rewards for yourself based on not giving in to road rage. For every twenty times some driver does something stupid and angering, treat yourself to a nice steak dinner. Or if you want, create a competition with your friends. Keep score. The one who has suffered from sloppy driving the most times in a month wins, and the others have to (fill in the blank).
Take care with this last suggestion, though. If you base rewards on other drivers offending you, you may find yourself getting angry when surrounded by civilized drivers.
