ALT-1 Arranged Marriages – Good
In the beginning of preparing this article I had grim views of arranged marriages coming from the western world. Living and growing up in the United States you think to yourself how absolutely insulting and insane it would be for someone to choose whom I should spend the rest of my life with! Yet in other cultures its a welcomed tradition. Countries such as: Africa, Asia, India and even Japan have been practicing this much needed aid in marriage, for many many years. This choice was initially made to better their families, produce a powerful lineage of children, and to keep families together despite of the success of the marriage. All parties including the bride and the groom in majority of the cases are in total agreement of the arrangement. Sons and daughters of these families have been raised knowing that eventually they would be in an arranged marriage and happily take the backseat to allow parents or aunts choose as to whom would be a suitable mate for them. Children are able to meet with prospective partners to see if they like their match. Once the choice is made and the family has settled on any agreements in the process then so goes a wedding.
Now all are not such cases there are instances where women or men can be in what is called a Force Marriage. This is the way that I viewed arranged marriages. And probably the way that most of us living in a freedom of choice society would view such an arrangement. Yet they are not one in the same. The two are very different. If your marriage is arranged it contains two consensual adults who not only support the tradition but happily carry it out. Forced marriages is when both or either party does not want to participate in the arrangement and are forced to by threats and or empty promises. This is so serious of an issue there has been a legal tactical force created for this purpose. Its Called the FMU(Forced Marriage Unit). It receives over 250 cases a year and growing. This special unit resides in the Community Liaison Offices and gives information and assistance to those attempting to flee from this form of bondage marriage. Forced marriage can be illegal in UK and other countries as well. Not everyone that is raised in the tradition of arranged marriages agree with the culture induced views of the family. Some children do oppose taking part. In some instances a child might have their own thoughts or dreams of marrying another. Sometimes, families are not too understanding with this decision and can be quite cruel if the marriage entails some kind of financial gain for the rest of the family. This is when arranged can become forced marriage instead.
With all the information that I have gathered my conclusion on arranged marriages has been changed. Arranged marriages can be a good thing as long as all parties agree. Creating a family of your choice is a mere dream to most. Speaking as a parent most of us would and sometimes do choose the person your offspring would marry. Think about it. Most children bring a serious prospect home to meet the family to get their judgment before making the final decision. Also does anyone ever think about the different match making websites we have now? Which by the way has become a $250 million dollar industry. Majority of the websites send you email on your matches for the day. E-harmony and other sites through personality traits and commonality pick your perfect mate. Also, many of us have that 1 friend, aunt, brother, sister, father, mother that we absolutely have to get their approval before making any rash decisions on marriage. Once that mate is found to get along with the family more than likely they move up the scale as a possible candidate for marriage. Our idealistic views of love and romance has found us in many relationships. Quite a few heartaches, break-ups and lessons learned. Having your mate chosen for you in old tradition assures both parties being virgins(well if done respectfully), both being able to financially raise a family, and assurance of tradition and/or religion continued through their own children, and having the respect and support of both families. Not a first choice in choosing a mate in the United States but, it has certainly worked for Countries abroad and successfully also. Their divorce rates aren't as high as the U.S., neither are the cases of unwed mothers and absentee parents. Also the teen pregnancies are practically non-existent with the exception of rape victims. Just maybe these cultures are on to something. Is it more important to be married for the sake of love and romance? Or for the sake of stature, financial security, religion and the status of your unborn children? Either way it should be your choice.
