ALT-1 A Guide to Thoughtful Hostess Gifts
It's always good etiquette to bring a little something with you when you're invited into someone's home. Unfortunately, it's sometimes difficult to find a gift that's both unique and appropriate - especially if you don't know the person well. Here are a few ideas to consider to help you find the perfect special item for your host or hostess.
TraditionalThe two most common hostess gifts, wine and flowers, are still among the best choices. Flowers should be fresh and pretty. If at all possible, purchase them from a florist rather than the supermarket. You will have more options to choose from, you can usually select specific types and colors of flowers if you want to coordinate with your host's color scheme, and a variety of accessories such as vases or ornaments can be added to the bouquet. An alternative to cut flowers is a live plant. Either green or flowering plants can be beautiful decorations, and the thought will last much longer - possibly many years longer - than the week or so that cut flowers will survive.
When choosing a wine, it's not always price that matters. You don't need to spend big bucks these days to get a nice bottle of wine. If you aren't familiar with wines that are good quality and reasonably priced, don't hesitate to get assistance. Most stores that sell wines will either label wines that have been highly rated by the major wine magazines, or will have someone on staff who is able to recommend good wines for any occasion. Another option is to politely impose on another patron of the store who looks like they know what they're doing. Most wine-drinkers I know are more than happy to point out their favorites.
Of course, not everyone drinks wine and not everyone wants to give flowers. There are still lots of possibilities that will make your host or hostess feel appreciated.
Food giftsOne of my favorite things to take when visiting is something that's both attractive and edible. Boxes of specialty chocolates are appreciated by most people. Small gift baskets of cheese, salami and crackers or similar appetizer type items can also be very popular. If you have access to a gourmet shop you can even buy specialty jars of imported stuffed olives, marinated mushrooms or other items that people may not generally purchase for themselves.
One thing to remember when giving a food gift - it is still a gift. Never expect your host to open the item on the spot and serve it. They may choose to share, but it is at their own discretion whether they do or not. Also keep in mind that not every food is appropriate as a gift in every situation. Be aware of possible allergies or other food prohibitions if possible - you wouldn't want to give salami and crackers to a friend who is Jewish for instance.
GadgetsMany people love gadgets. These are the kitchen appliances that are often specialty items that we don't really need, but that can be fun to have around. Taking a bag of lemons and a citrus reamer might be a fun gift at a cocktail party. Taking a cute and decorative egg timer along with a tool for piercing the end of an egg before cooking would be a good gift when invited to a brunch. If the gadget idea appeals to you but you aren't sure what to choose, just go stand in the gadget department at the kitchen store. Something unusual is bound to catch your eye. The point is to be creative, try to play to the occasion, and keep the personality of the recipient in mind.
Home giftsFor occasions when you're invited for a home visit that will last longer than a single meal, something other than a food-oriented gift may be more appropriate. For instance, a picture frame can be an excellent gift, though I would recommend against giving it with a picture of yourself already in it unless it's a very close friend or family member. Decorative or scented candles can also make a lovely addition to anyone's home. Another option would be something for the bathroom - specialty soaps or bath salts or even decorated hand towels might be appreciated.
Make it personalAs with any gift, the more intimate the relationship, the more personal a hostess gift can be. If you're invited for dinner at the house of a friend's parents when you're traveling for business it might be best to go with the wine or the candle. But if you're staying a week with the college roommate you've been best friends with for 20 years, you can and should be much more personal. Bring something that will have a special meaning that you can both relate to. Don't just bring a supermarket bouquet - make sure you've gotten something that clearly shows you put some thought into it.
Gifts don't have to be expensive, but you also don't want them to seem cheap. It would be better to bring a box of just a couple of hand-dipped chocolates than to bring a similarly-priced box of mass-market candy purchased at the drug store on the corner. Don't let your hostess gift be an afterthought. But also, don't feel overwhelmed if you are unsure of what to bring. When someone has invited you into their home often the best thing you can give them in return is genuine appreciation, polite behavior, good company, and an offer to help with the dishes before you leave.
